Falling for Wisdom

Communicating with a young friend of mine about my desire to be a novice again, even for short time. He shot off a reply email saying it would be extremely difficult for him, but not for me because, as he put it, “you are asexual!” I laughed… I wish. Sure, I am older(almost twice his age), but by no means ready to throw in the towel. I told him, that while I am currently away from my partner while he is in a masters program, I have made the decision to honor him and us by choosing not to be active. It was not a demand by him, but more a wisdom move motivated by not wanting to disturb our commitment. Open relationships may seem fine to some, but it opens the door to the potential of falsely thinking that someone else may be better. We all know how fast things happen and often without our awareness. Do we really want peace in our lives? We often forget we sometimes create the chaos... that we so desperately want to get rid of. Now, would I have said this when I was his age, probably not….and that is where age allows some wisdom to creep in naturally as pay off for this old body, that fewer people desire.

"The socially conditioned hormonal hunger for copulation twists raw experience to make sex appear as pleasure. Is sexual pleasure the way things truly are, or just the way desire makes them seem? Venerable Ananda said to Venerable Vangisa that lust is but a inversion of perception(SN8.4)!" — Ajahn Brahm, Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond

Novice Scholarship Fund

Auttachai(left) and Chatreea(far right)

Dear Friends,

It’s getting to the end of the school year and the time is fast approaching when the grade 6s from the temple school will have completed their final year and will be planning whether or not they will continue their studies at university. For these boys and their families the decision to go on to university is significantly based on financial considerations.

As many of you know, even going to a monk University can be financially prohibitive as even monks need some money and often the families prefer for the lads to go straight into paid employment to support the family.

With young men like Joy, Auttachai (Aa), Chatreea, Monkoon and many others there is certainly some great potential in the group and we hope that together with your help we can offer them some financial assistance in going to university and giving them every chance of gaining a degree and going further with their education.

Many of the boys have been so welcoming and supportive of guests on the monk for a month program and it is our ardent wish that we can now support them in their desire to improve their own lives. We can also feel confident that once these novices get an education much of that benefit will flow back into their families and wider communities.

And so we invite you to make a contribution to the Novice Scholarship Fund. Already we have one donation of 5000 Baht from Linda Zakas, USD$ 200 from Gennadiy Grishayev and Jildou and I have put in 10 000 Baht. To be able to assist the most number of boys going through university we need as much support as we can muster and the fund is relying largely on the generosity of former guests, though naturally we welcome funds from any quarter. The money will be managed by a small board of trustees including Dr. Aphisit, a representative of the school and myself. The scholarships will be granted for a period of 12 months with the likelihood of renewal barring any strong reasons not too.

If you would like to support this initiative please go to http://bloodfoundation.org and click on the PayPal donate button on the left-hand side.

Then send us a brief mail to info@bloodfoundation.org to alert us that you wish your donation to be used for to Novice Scholarship Fund.

Joy doing homework

This is a great opportunity to give back to these young men and make a real difference in their lives. We thank you for all your support over the last year, so many of you have already contributed so much to the work we do in this region. Just by being on the program you have made a serious contribution and many of you have done so much more - you have our deep gratitude.

Metta!

Ben, Jildou, Graham,

Fred, Charin and all the team.

Are you talking to me?

In the line to board the plane, and I hear the man behind me ask the woman just behind him who is talking loudly on her cell phone to leave or turn it off. He asked politely, she replied in fairly politely manner, although I was prepared for major head butt. Thinking, sparks are gonna fly. I was familiar with her, while I was meditating waiting for my plane… she plopped down on a seat close to my position on the floor and turned it into her living room. Wired for sound and telling her friends about her hotel cost and business trip. I used her as part of my practice, to not show displeasure or even engagement, yet I was aware. Labeling it as hearing, hearing, hearing instead of interest it whatever she said.

He said it is rude to act like I want to hear your private conversation. She said, “My intention was not bother you, and I am sorry. But you don’t have to be rude and assume this.” He looked at me, and I smiled and we spoke quietly about this public phenomenon. He waited to sit next to her and show his paper about this, which in fact, was carrying to a publisher on this plane. His tone was gentle and his intention carried no malice.

It is very apparent that as long as we act like no one else matters, then it is rude. Do we want respect? First, we are going to have respect for others.



Subjecting strangers to your one-sided conversations while you pace nearby or stand talking while pointing your mouth towards others, tells them that they are not important to you. When I had a store, I would walk up to people while they were on their phone and point towards the door. These were people who walk in talking on their cell phones to use my store as their phone booth. I figured that they were not focused on buying in my store anyway, regardless of their protests. So it is no surprise that people talking on their cell phone while driving are 4 times more dangerous than drunk drivers. Perhaps, it is one more tool to tackle our population problem. Who needs earthquakes? Just give idiots cell phones, and cars with a brake problem. Better yet, just put yourself in others shoes, have a little compassion and understanding. In ancient times back when there were no mobiles, and everyone sat quietly and read.

Only the Wonderful Remains

We often forget that in just a few years, especially when compared to Earth’s age, we will soon be dead and all our worries will die with us. Hopefully, you have not dumped them on to another friend or family member like cooties, forgetting that they have their own worries. I leaned over to speak with a woman on the plane, separated by an unfilled seat and we talked about flying. Started the conversation with a curiosity, noting a radio she had in hand. She had it to listen to the control tower lingo, and added that she also flew. “It’s easy to learn, and you just got to get up with an instructor and see if you like it.” She told me that he had to stop flying when her kids were born, but now older and have they left home …she can resume her flying hobby. She was small, and she joked about being able to stand without bending over underneath the overhead compartments.


I offered my view that we so often look at what is wrong or bad, instead of looking to what is good in every situation. I know I still gravitate much easier to what I don’t like in any given situation. Even last night, exhausted I woke up, unable to sleep, feeling angry, but able to laugh at myself and quickly pick up a book that I am reading. It is interesting enough to wind me back down. I do like silence when I read with my aphasia, to get the most out a book and be fully absorbed. So it worked to my favor, waking up unexpectedly. This is one of the small miracles of life that we could be easily be happy about but pass it over quickly to being upset. Moving back to a world that seen has a lot more earthquakes, floods, wars, and economic downturns than we ever possible imagine, all our worries pale in comparison. We are really just a speck on a fly in existence in the cosmic scheme of things and our ability to look beyond is purely an awareness that we can learn and adopt. This adoption saves us from despair and depression instead of our normally small view of our life we maintain just to boost our ego.


Life is a truly a dream,
All troubles I alone create
When I stop creating, the trouble stops.
With a single mind, with an unbounded heart
We wake up to the Wonderful Existence
within True Emptiness
That we are in the middle of right now.
When all the world ceases to exist,
Only the Wonderful remains.

— Bhikshu Heng Chau

When Being Right is Wrong

On this wisdom path, some things just tickle you like seeing a sweet humming bird. A week ago at yoga, the teacher walked in a tiny bit late but full of piss and vinegar. The subway was slow and subjected him to an evil abusive man and his female prey/conjugate. He said, that he knew she was being abused, but without direct proof there while riding in the subway, he felt powerless. It bugged him, added on top of it the train was late.

He tired his best to make it into a lesson for the class, but his internal temperature and tone was not very good. So, like a tornado he brought the bad energy into class, and we all felt it. I even found myself irritated and I even had just finished a half hour meditation before it started. I continued pushing past the first half hour where I felt like walking out and I could see how it was affecting my poses. Anger is like this, I say. Thinking, he is human and has feelings and to be compassionate I will use this as practice to maintain a cool heart. I have brought bad energy to situations myself, now I can see first hand how it affects people.

Several friends said after class, “I don’t think I will ever attend his class again.” I said, “I felt this same way and it wasn’t professional, of course… but he is young and still a good teacher.” His intent was not to make us as irritated as he was. This week in class he did not mention it, and nor did I...so we were seemlessly back on track. I could have said something to him and stormed out of that class making a scene. Thus, doing so would only prove what a friend said about me years ago, “You have the ability to piss off all the right people.” Being right in this instance is raising my temperature and mood to meet him head on. With an ego mind, I would look to myself as hero, but to everyone else a fool. But, I am everyone else so the fool precedes the hero.



Meditation allows me to see this, to look beyond the immediate moment, often called “Being Right,” to what do I really want to see as a final outcome. If I want happiness... then, I have to be happiness even when I don’t get it all my way. Today, I went to the same teacher’s hour and half yoga clinic, and we sat talking about leg positions when sitting like old friends. The future you want can suddenly be right here, reminding you of the work you did do to casually open the door to let the happiness back in.

David Blaine: How I held my breath for 17 minutes

One of the most touching part of the video is shown at nearly the end telling of his passion for what is does. Similar to this, occasionally I'll do something good for someone when it is not preplanned, and totally spontaneous(and feels natural)...I will get flushed...a sign of my true heart's desire.

Mirror, Mirror....Not!

My powerbook walked back into my life after coughing up some cash, with a new hard disc and a folder named recovery divided by the two passes the computer guy did on the messed up hard drive. Reminds me of my body just after the strokes. How come crime specials always recover all the data? Because life is not like fiction. It is funny that even with this remedy, it still involves some work to figure it all out salvage what is left and merge and then purge. With increased wisdom you will know there will always be something needing to be fixed, whether it is your house, car, computer or partner. That happiness is not derived from having all your wants lined up.

That is why I came home after a long day with volunteer projects with the computer that needs to be weeded and backed up, and sat down to meditate. Knowing that if I start the process without a clear mental state, I will quite possibly make more of a mess or at the very least, get all wound up. This is not the procrastinators’ approach to life, but instead using some wise scraps that seem to follow me as walk down this path.


I spent my Saturday learning the 32 parts of body meditation. A overview in one day, of what and how your are supposed to understand that you are not your body by chanting and visualizing those 32 parts, building concentration, and perhaps healing where you store your feelings. A day was way too short, they often do it for a minimum of 10 days to as long a 8 months in Burma. I thought that this method might work very well over a longer time period, but I have pretty much figured out the idea I am not my body, from being in a coma with nurse talking like I was not “there.” That combined with my whole experience in hospital now has left me so that when ever I look in the mirror, I don’t see me but a body, because I know very concretely I am much more than whatever barks back. A mirror cannot possibly contain everything I am now. I look back every time now and laugh.