Like Clouds

I was in a local bar for a quick beer, and said hello to old man next me as he looked lonely. He said, “I am unlucky in love,” as a lady friend left. Then he proceeded to tell the bar back has pulled in as much $1600 a night at Bingo at a local high school. Playing for 3- 4 hours with 18 boards at a time, those numbers come fast. Wow, I said you are fast and lucky. But his problem was love, but does he spend 3-4 hours working on love or helping others? Who knows, but I doubt it.
What if I told you no one could help you? I am referring to my idea that everyone’s life is different. That is how you grew up, who loved you, who did not and what difficulties you encountered so far. Perhaps my idea of happiness is not yours? How did you approach problems you have had so far? I am curious. Did you see them as impossible to tackle? Where did you start? Maybe you stew on it for a while. Then you start to obsess or you avoid it entirely for a bit. This is providing it is not life threatening. In your mind you can make it worse or better. It is, far easier to go eat…just look all the fat Americans. They and a lot of people walk around with a cartoon bubble above their head full of problems weighing them down. Stop. Just look up in a sky full of clouds…changing, swirling, coming and going. Someone, somewhere has had worse things happen to them, and believe it or not...you are lucky. It sounds quite childish when you say, "But they are MY problems.' Are you going throw a tantrum or just figure it out?

Your problems no matter how severe they are, they just like those clouds. They will dissipate. All you have to do is look back at past problems that were resolved, which at the time they happened seemed like the worst that happened to you. Some of them did it on their own. Perhaps time helped or maybe you made firm decisions to move in the opposite direction of your problem. Or like me, had some tea and worked on someone else’s problems for a while and suddenly yours drifted away. Many of my problems were a necessary trial for me to be more wise. I see clearly once the clouds are gone.

Driving...watch out

Drove home at sunset and watched the colors unfold over the Forty-five minute drive. It was dimensional with high wispy light golden clouds above, long horizontal light purple clouds in the middle, and deep orange clouds that hid the remnants of the sun. I thought about how I have changed, but mostly how people’s perception of me changed. Now, I am talking mostly about new people I meet, not old friends. Few people go as far to find out who I am now, and who I have been in the past to get a full-rounded version. They get either a fixed idea as a disabled person, sometimes pathetic or sometimes compassionate. With my speech disability, I came to the idea that if a person’s heart was good and their own issues were on the back burner then we could quickly become friends or at least acquainted. Some people use my speech or lack of it as a jumping off point, to use me as a sounding board. So, I realized that I have to become more patient, just for my own sake. Along with this is the old adage, “Why am I here?” Now there was no quick way to figure this all out, I spent many a day crying, getting angry, sleeping(with any brain injury) and occasionally laughing. The laughter at myself helped to give me a clue as to how I should approach life. I had to set goals everyday, sometimes way beyond I could possibly go.