Never a Hand Out

Well, I have been plagued with computer problems and took it in for a week. They tried to figure it out, as it was sleeping too much and I brought it in while it was doing this. Of course with my luck, it never did it again. Ah, ha! It turned out to be yet another way to work on my patience.
I found out that an acquaintance who I saw last summer, killed himself at age 20 over his girlfriend rejection. Sad, but mainly for those left to deal especially his mother. I respect decisions as severe as suicide when it is used to take control of your life, but not in this immature way. And he had such promise and seemed like he had goals. But you can never know what is in people’s head.
While I was computer less, I was busy fixing up a bathroom in my house, and doing handyman work for friends. I also saw a nice moral kids film called Raja Siri Raja. It is from Sri Lanka, and having traveled there twice it brought back nice memories. You can find it on Youtube and I wish I could it to buy for my nephews.
My partner is close to finishing his BA, and is busy working overtime to complete his projects. With a happy sound in his voice that shows there is light at the end of his tunnel. But now he is on a role he now wants a MA and PHD to elevate his marketability. I told him go for it, while you are in the mood and I’ll help. At least he never asks for handout, and he works hard for everything. If I can help him it gives me a real sense of purpose. I joke with him that he will be more educated than I.
I try to do work and when I have time off get out and do exercise. Today, I biked 33 miles, through some of the most beautiful parts of the city. Along the bridge to another city and back home. Riding back I caught one of our beautiful fall sunsets with orange and red. I helped to get me out of my funk, that often present “why am I here” feeling we often have. I tried to smile as I rode, saying hello frequently and let any annoyances go. That allowed me to find a 5 dollar bill along the way, my lunch for the day!

Straight to the Heart

I was very offended to find Yes on 8 ads on my blog, so I pulled Google adsense. The mormons were busy spreading more hate, taking away my rights to marry. And I thought there was a separation of church and state? This will only strengthen our resolve to have equal rights as this went straight to our loving heart. You would think that it would be a good thing for us to be married, as we provide more dollars to the economy. And in the worst case of divorce we will provide lawyers a fair amount of pocket change. But with Obama’s election it kept our mood higher and made us way more hopeful after he mentioned us in his speech. I can say I am still speechless after his clear victory, signaling a real statement after McCain/Palin's hateful champaign that people saw through.
The following day, I was doing some handyman work for a stranger, and upon finishing she promptly gave me a check. I frowned a little, but wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. So, I left her house and went straight to the bank, only to find out it was no good, and overdraft could not even cover it. I still had to hear the bank teller's pitch to sell me on an account there, all while I lost face over this bad check. "You sure you don't want the stuffed pony with a new account?" I have to get back to you. I decided to keep calm, while I rushed back to her house again, accessing the peace from every meditation I have ever done. I got there and rang the bell, called her name, because her balcony door were open….no answer. I called her number from my cell…no answer. I was feeling dumb, but resolved to get my money. Should I wait there until she left? I could not, because I had to meet a friend at my house. I looked at her balcony, should I crawl up? I said, that is an opportunity to break my neck and get the police called on me. I thought hard while looking around her entry. Ah, hah! I saw her electric meter, and killed her power…she came right out. I said, without getting mad, sorry your check is not good, and yes... I turned off your power. She said turn it on, and I will come out and drive you to the atm to pay you. I said fine, and in the awkward moments in her car we made small talk. I got my money just in time to get home to meditate twenty minutes before my friend came by to take me out to dinner. Whew!