I had one small cup of coffee on Wednesday at 4pm while rushing around. Then later I had a visit and a great talk with a friend about what is important in life later at 9pm. I went sleep at midnight only to wake up at 4am, for whatever reason. I tried to force myself to sleep only to realize that was pointless. I then tried to meditate upright in bed for 5 minutes, when I came the realization that I can’t change nature. I then got up turned on the computer, put on soft Indian Buddhist chants, made some herbal tea, and just figured I would make the best of this. Aren’t most problems really how you see them? Things change for whatever reason and you will drive yourself crazy trying to again make your way. Of course this the go with the flow idea, but it is a much more a real conscious effort to watch how you treat every situation in life...constantly observing. I looked back this week to a meeting with an older friend who constantly complains, almost to the point of each word that comes out of her mouth. I first thought well maybe I should distance myself from her to keep me from joining her in negative speech. Then on further reflection, I thought she might in my life for a reason, as a constant reminder of what I should avoid in myself. They are never directed at me anyway, so why take them personally? Perhaps by example I can help her and if not her…so many others.
The photos I took when I felt lonely, but instead of getting down I got out and again tried to show the beauty that is right outside your small world. But I am helping build my partner's future, a creative process just like my photography. I worked hard this week getting a huge album of photos of our last trip to my partner's mother and mailing it off. I know how Mom's are, they need to know their kids are happy!
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