31 December, 2008

Not Standing in the Way

Waking up in the middle of night when a guest in the other room was snoring, I began to think instead of getting upset. The distance my partner and I have right now allows us to distill our relationship to what is really important. The time apart has matured it gracefully. He has just graduated BBA with 1st honors, and I am proud of him. I thought I was helping my partner with the tuition, because I know his salary even while working full time does not cover anything but the basic costs of housing and food. I was trying to put me out of the equation…it is not always about me. Reflecting about this I am really not helping him, but instead just not getting in the way of his future plans or happiness. Many times we get in the way of others trying to be happy. It might be a simple as letting them in first in line at the store. It actually takes more energy making your Me more important and not thinking about others Me. Like a gear turning and I was not something stuck in it, thus jamming it. I am trying to think of his happiness is not contingent on him performing for me in any way. I do enjoy his excitement and feeling of power after doing what was the impossible just three years ago. It was an idea back when I saw him not happy, and when I finally put myself aside it became obvious how I could change things. He had completed his degree, while working overtime in most cases. He never gave in to the idea that was too hard, because he thought of this as a rare opportunity. And now he did so well, and was inspired by a Professor to go for MA and on to perhaps a PHD. I will again step aside, and let his potential shine into the New Year. Meanwhile, when he is busy, I will quietly work on developing pure love and wisdom through meditation and contemplation. So, I ended up a couple hours later with an Ipod on with quiet music playing until I fell asleep again with good thoughts.

1 comment:

XanFactor said...


everything would fall into their right place...

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