04 February, 2011
I will tell you something... for the past several years, I rarely look in the mirror, and I am not one to check myself out. It is because when I look into the mirror I don't see me, I see more of the body I inhabit, as strangely as it sounds. This gets me in weird circumstances with food or sun cream on my face, but that is more about my numbness caused by the accident...I can't feel it there, and since I don't check much ....there you have it. I do look people in their eyes, and make a point to connect, but I rarely look into my own eyes. When I "look at myself" it is much deeper than the surface, and in sort of emptiness that never includes me popping around. I spent the better part of my youth worrying about how I look, so I can keep it together almost as second nature, yet it is far less important. Most of the reasons I still do anything at all is not to look like I lost my mind when I lost some brain parts. On second thought maybe I should dress the part, then others might understand.
I found this, months after I wrote this: