28 October, 2012

Misery 101

In the past two months, I have been tying to let my partner do his own thing in his own time. At times, it may seem like it is an incredible sacrifice on my part, only when I feel bad or uneven within myself. In other words, my ego doesn't like it, when I am fragile. He is much more demonstrative with his love spontaneously the more I let go, so it is not like there is no payback. In fact ten-fold, lately. I just have to keep reminding myself of the self created misery that can spiral out with one bad thought. One night I had a sinking dream, because I guess my ego did not like the changes I have been making and  I guess carried it over. I was moaning saying, "No, No, No," while falling....then I could see/hear him at the end of a long tunnel and the falling stopped with his words. Touching me and bringing me forth to the waking world, with his hands on my shoulders, waking me, he said, "It's OK, I love you." 


Mind Of Mine said...

I know it is probably hard but this space will be the making or breaking of your relationship. I have been in a position when I needed space and I told my partner at the time and he agreed.

The space I craved was just a more active involvement in my own social life, he agreed but never complied. Getting jealous etc.

Eventually I broke up with him and put as much space as I wanted between us.

Was Once said...

I am sorry yours evolved to be apart, try to maintain the friendship part of the relationship.
After 12 years, we are still learning about each other, and some of the minor things are just because we used to it our way.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin