21 February, 2013

Neither Coming or Going

With a little disturbance like when my partner left his IPhone on, and it chimed 5 different emails the night before at random times breaking my sleep, I awoke tired. I told him how to set it so it doesn't happen again, and then I worked on using this worn out feeling not to spin into further misery. Every time I caught myself I would say RIGHT NOW is the perfect time to use wisdom and went about my day. I watched how I presented my exhaustion, thinking if I can be be happy now it will change how I feel internally. Now, before you go why don't you just get a nap? I would reply that this is not always an option to life's misery. I had some things to get done. For the rest of the day, I helped several tourists go in the right direction, and even leading an arm to a surprised Russian woman who feared falling into the ferry. I noticed how this made her day, she was taken by a display of random kindness. I continued to smile to strangers when I got eye contact, and you know what the response was? ....A beaming smile, which then registered in my subconscious that all is well. 

Later in the day, I noticed a elder monk paying for water, and quickly interjected and paid for him. That took the vendor by complete surprise. Monks have to carry money now for buses and expenses like cell-phones, which I think is unadvisable because temptation is powerful. We then talked, about life and his path(or our path), and I grabbed his heavy monk's bag and carried it for him. On the ferry he gave a hand-made wristband died in the jak fruit orange of monks robes, with a bead inserted. He said he had been a monk since 40, and now 60. He was “jai dee”, and beaming kindness and wisdom helping others. I watched him with others when we split, the path when embodied can be that evident. 

Later in the day I took a wrong turn, and just went with the flow, taking these photos along the way. Sure, I first had the instant condemnation of the self as being stupid, but ignored it and just continued walking instead of turning around and back tracking. Y
es, you have to laugh at yourself to get started as the easiest in road to wisdom,
I said to myself, this is somewhere new I have not been, and so what if I am late going to my work-out and thus late for dinner. That was only further excuse to gather misery into a pile, and then a mountain no on could climb.  
If one watches... we make misery palatable for each initial cause, especially tailored for yourself. My partner called later, when I had found my way to transportation to say he had dinner already waiting for my return and “Have Fun!”  All the more reason not to carry an Iphone with maps! The only map I need is directly to my subconscious to weed out unnecessary suffering.

I found this in a new book I'm reading after posting above:

“Lucid and all-encompassing Attention is the only instrument needed, and this is attained spontaneously, by encountering the reactions of the mind appearing as effects to the challenges of Life in its perpetual movement. Therefore, in utter simplicity, we listen and watch, with our whole Attention, both our inner world and the reactions of the mind, as well as the impressions coming from the outside world.”

—Cioara, Ilie (2011-10-16). The Silence of the Mind (p. 12) 


Mind Of Mine said...

I think its cool that the monk gave you a bracelet. I really enjoyed reading this, I have been there, walking new places, just soaking it all in.

Was Once said...

Thanks, now I am outside of Kandy in a private ashram, not even desiring to trek around to "see". But finally at 5'pm, after being awakened to Pali chants, and walked to a small dagoba and met a retired policeman who invited me for tea and dates....nice and real Buddhist.
This was after being in Negembo, where I sat on the beach near sunset to do an hour of meditation, and a boy waited for me to be done, only to offer himself for a price. Not a hello, purely a "business" deal. I replied, "no, thanks... I am observing precepts."

Was Once said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spldbch said...

Tiredness, exhaustion, fatigue - these are difficult things for me. Whatever my intentions (and attentions), they all seem to go out the window when my body and mind become tired.

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