25 June, 2016
This is real quick post, based on today's experience. I woke up early to sit at dawn for an hour, and then went back to sleep to enjoy the clearing of worries usually a by-product of meditation. I woke naturally at 9:30 and began to clean house, and later, when having a cup of coffee began a upheaval of thoughts based upon a rising headache(a very rare occurrence, usually). Realizing that all things are impermanent, based on the style of meditation I do. I tried to ignore the pain and do more errands outside of home and later came back. It produced unease with no particular focus, and I began to read a new book that came in the mail, but within 40 minutes I needed to nap. It could be based on my brain injury(I often plow over my aphasia, based on my partner not letting me use this as any excuse for bad behavior), or subtle body reactions to the coffee. Then, it became very apparent to me, that I could actually see that the simple body unease as the its reaction to negative ideas I might have been recirculating. Doing Vipassana sits at home twice a day uncovers deeply rooted delusions and reminds you not put them back in. I examined what may have been the root, and it was the fact that was unhappy about some travel plans I made in the past under duress. So, your feeling state is always up to you, regardless of what happens.