Choose Acceptance with Any Loss

We all have seen some miraculous example of some disabled person doing extraordinary things, like running a marathon with one leg or like when I saw a boy with half of his brain(removed) learning to swim after his operation. How does this happen? He or she accepted their loss of whatever and moved on. This can even happen when you lose family and dear ones who pass, whether expected or unexpectedly. This is not to whitewash any grief that happens in the process, many times never seen by others, carried heavy in the heart for a long time. Once you realize that you really have no control in life, and that once you fully accept a death or a personal loss about your own health, you become free of the grief that you seem to be hooked on. Even a sense of ease comes when it appears that you have forgotten that grief. Often times it comes in small doses at first, unknown consciously until that begins to overpower the grief that you once held, when it gathers enough steam.

We have the power to choose acceptance earlier, if that is what we truly desire, without confusing it with not honoring those things we have lost in the form of guilt. This guilt that we feel is more about trying to maintain the grief, in feeling form. We get hooked on feelings and it is harder to let go of a feeling than the actual person or idea that we carry around with us. Often times waiting for exhaustion to dictate a move to change, instead or when people get sick of you. One has to look very deeply at what we truly want and that is happiness, which will only comes with acceptance. It may take time off from work and life to let the loss settle completely in meditation, instead of stringing it along to explode in unexpected moments. Then it will allow you to honor those that passed, too. The sooner the better when you consider how short our life is and the fact that you will have to...anyway.

Grabbing at the Wrong Things

Watching Inglorious Bastards, one thing stayed with me. Pvt. Zoller wanted Shosanna so bad, even though besides saying no, she practically spit on him… and for good reason, of course. Why is that we want something so desperately, that it can drive us crazy? We like attachments to things we can’t have. And then what if we get it? Well, it becomes suddenly undesirable, so damn fast that it will make your head spin. This only proves it was not a source of happiness to begin with.

I am working with a contractor on my house, and the man will tell me anything. He is so dishonest, that he can’t bring himself to make one heartfelt attempt. All he wants is the money and to use me. He is driving me crazy, that I can hardly wait until I am finished with the job. Maybe that is his tactic. Yesterday, he stopped by after he left, to ask if he can use my bathroom. It was only to photograph my tile work(I designed it), to show his client. Then we he came out he asked if he can photograph it, when I knew damn well he already had. That was why he stopped back by. I can read people like him. It is not very difficult; they try to apply some fake gesture of kindness that is unlike their personality. So, right now he is my Inglorious Bastard at the moment and has kept from writing, while I watch his hired help butcher things. It is only outdoor trim, and soon enough he and his flunky will be far enough away and life can resume.