Are you talking to me?

In the line to board the plane, and I hear the man behind me ask the woman just behind him who is talking loudly on her cell phone to leave or turn it off. He asked politely, she replied in fairly politely manner, although I was prepared for major head butt. Thinking, sparks are gonna fly. I was familiar with her, while I was meditating waiting for my plane… she plopped down on a seat close to my position on the floor and turned it into her living room. Wired for sound and telling her friends about her hotel cost and business trip. I used her as part of my practice, to not show displeasure or even engagement, yet I was aware. Labeling it as hearing, hearing, hearing instead of interest it whatever she said.

He said it is rude to act like I want to hear your private conversation. She said, “My intention was not bother you, and I am sorry. But you don’t have to be rude and assume this.” He looked at me, and I smiled and we spoke quietly about this public phenomenon. He waited to sit next to her and show his paper about this, which in fact, was carrying to a publisher on this plane. His tone was gentle and his intention carried no malice.

It is very apparent that as long as we act like no one else matters, then it is rude. Do we want respect? First, we are going to have respect for others.



Subjecting strangers to your one-sided conversations while you pace nearby or stand talking while pointing your mouth towards others, tells them that they are not important to you. When I had a store, I would walk up to people while they were on their phone and point towards the door. These were people who walk in talking on their cell phones to use my store as their phone booth. I figured that they were not focused on buying in my store anyway, regardless of their protests. So it is no surprise that people talking on their cell phone while driving are 4 times more dangerous than drunk drivers. Perhaps, it is one more tool to tackle our population problem. Who needs earthquakes? Just give idiots cell phones, and cars with a brake problem. Better yet, just put yourself in others shoes, have a little compassion and understanding. In ancient times back when there were no mobiles, and everyone sat quietly and read.

Missed Action

I encountered more airport fun on the way back, when an already hour and half late plane, was crammed with stand-bys. Taxied out and ready for takeoff, when a guy came out of the rest room only to find a passenger in his seat. It was just a two rows back from me on the opposite side of the plane. Neither party was mad, but the woman who was rushed in the plane by the agent did not have a ticket for her seat. The pilot came on the intercom to say we have to go back to let a standing passenger off. Meanwhile, this extra passenger explained what happened to two flight attendants as we took the plane back. They were bit miffed that she had no seat ticket, so they started to attack.

She was a standby nearby the gate when the agent said, go, hurry! The temperature was rising, as you have a late plane full of unhappy people. I really felt her embarrassment, and see she was a bit red in the face. The man standing was pretty quiet to not add fuel to the fire, since he was in the bathroom when he was no supposed to be. I had no place to be in hurry, having missed my meeting with the late flight. I had volunteered earlier to take a later flight if need be, when I found out the plane was going to be late. They did not use me. I thought this would be a great time to offer my seat to the lady, and get off in her place. But the most difficult thing with my speech disability, it times like this the flight attendants will we be so focused on her, that when I speak…they will say, “Sit down, sir! or What do you want?" I know these situations so well, having had people before never taking the time to let me speak. I just had the limo company when I called to say I would be late, hang up on me. I was tired, and exhausted so my speech would not be at its best.

I was thinking it be a proper ego-busting situation to get off the plane for her, even though she was just trying to get an earlier flight and no emergency. I did not speak up to the attendants, because I knew they would be so focused on who to put the blame on when they write up their report. I failed because I had myself to think of me first, which we all know is way too easy. Thinking about it, is not an action. Everyone thinks, few act. Next time I will act. I am sorry I let her down.

Experience with Immature Thoughts

How often do we judge our experience down to every single moment on whether we are pleased? Be it food, drink, temperature, the views and/or the sounds we hear. If I find myself wanting a constant pleasant experience for myself, I find that I am constantly on the move. This seems so immature when I really contemplate this. More a mental experience than physical, always leap frogging to something perceived as better than what I have right now. It becomes even more pronounced when things might be difficult, even slightly. I have brain damage so severe that when I get too much input, be it noise or perceived chaos I get overloaded because my brain cannot narrow down a single person conversation from background noise. It is even more pronounced on the phone if the other party is in a really noisy area. Although this is a common problem with my injury, I am looking into how I deal when it happens because it like life, you cannot control every instance. If I examine personally at how I try to control life in general, and relax, I am in fact easing the stranglehold we sometimes carry around with our life experiences. Trying always to make them pleasant to our senses.Then in the big picture of life, I might be more prepared for the more difficult aspects of aging, sickness and death. We often daydream a fairy-tale ending to our life, or put in so far on the back-burner that the only existence it plays in our life is a certain child like approach to real life connections with friends and family. People are in our life for a reason and we sometimes take it so for granted that we dismiss any feelings surgically on a regular basis with no remorse.



As I got a massage in my favorite family run shop-house, they guessed why I am on the path. Saying, "Broken heart or a family death?" I said, "No, a logical conclusion." I survived my near-death not because of my strong will as most will surmise, but for the kindness of others. How could I have strong will if not for having love in my life to give me the strength? My mother played a very important role, giving me life for really the second time! My friends and even the night nurse who has since passed, saw the fact that I was more “there” than the doctors at that time said. And now look I can write this, when they predicted a vegetable like life, post injury. Can you imagine how a mother would take what they said at that time about her first-born son? To prepare for me to die. How can one possibly pay this back?



Ever notice a Thank You never seems to be sufficient when someone does something good and loving for you. The best way to return this favor is to be loving with others, transform your gift from them into something as worthwhile as theirs. Letting go of the power they gave you because it would be mature.

If anyone loves you then this really means they are sacrificing a part of their sense of “I.” Lowering their self-cherishing enough to look beyond. A gift we sometimes overlook.

I watched two policemen enjoy ice cream, brought to them by a superior when I stopped coincidentally to put a bandaid on my toe. I enjoyed the look on their face, and I did not even have to pay. We exchanged smiles, one of the free gifts of life.
The first part of my discussion is looked at it depth with Paticcasamuppada(Practical Dependent Origination) in Buddha’s teachings.