A Sweet Taste

A friend I had known for nearly 3 decades was having an important birthday party. I know his intention were to make it an event for all his friends and family. It was important to him, and what better way to be a good friend than to help him as much as my time permitted.

It is his style to joke with me about who I have evolved to, instead of coming to a real understanding of what made me look beyond. And what I might have tried and how it works or doesn't.

Over the couple days there were a few things he said, that I could have decided to let it bother me. I made the decision not to get angry or take things personal, because that was really never his intention when he said them. They were said out of ignorance or just in humor, his humor. And I could see why with the pressure of pulling this whole thing together with family flying in. It was not like his was unappreciative, buying dinner when we worked setting it up.

I saw this opportunity to experience a small taste of enlightenment, you can get when you pull yourself out of the big bad trio of greed, hatred or delusion. Well, it all went according to plan in a relaxed way. On the day, I arrived early and got involved in cooking and cleaning so he could go and enjoy himself that day. After midnight while I was cleaning and I helped whip up some midnight snacks while people were enjoying themselves, because this was gift I could give. It is far easier to do, than to talk for me, especially in a loud environment of a party. And when I left that night, there was a real honest hug of appreciation by my friend. Today, he and his family dropped by my house to say hello and sign of how much this meant to him. I have to constantly remind myself, we can enjoy the sweet taste of enlightenment when we relax our expectations.

Compassion Flash

I recently went away to see family and in a brief moment of compassion, I offered my house to a new friend who was in town. Normally, unless it is a very close friend or family I wouldn't bother. Looking forward to less power and water use as one of few small perks when one is away. Examining this momentary compassion surge that appeared when I took me out of the picture for just one second and offered my house. Now, I wonder about my true Buddha nature and my untapped ability to be a more compassionate being. How often do you catch yourself being the one who knows? Just being aware led me further to get groceries for this friend, to give freely and naturally knowing that I could die anytime. Do you want your last gesture to be miserly?

Fun and Inspiring Self-Repair Weekend

A day of meditation on love and compassion with the wisdom of the Buddhist Nuns on Saturday, and July 4th evening spent chanting and meditating with Jai Uttal, Radhanath Das with the beautiful flute playing of Menose. All this helped smooth my rough spots without drugs or drinking. After a nice weekend like this, peace comes easier without any fireworks.

Sample of Kirtan with Jai Uttal and Radhanath Das:

Sample of Menose:

Count Your Lucky Stars!

After being sick and then off on a trip to see family it gave a me a brief time off to review my life’s progress or lack there of. I often feel the pinch of self-pity, so I know the best remedy is to have gratitude for what you do have. One person that I am very grateful for is my close friend who is always there. Over a cup of tea he will listen to me complain and will be quiet, never reprimanding me but instead letting me vent until I see that it is going nowhere. He does this quite diplomatically, letting me figure out how ridiculous I sound to myself and thus ending it by his unengaged way. He lets my own wisdom shine clear past any perceived difficulties, and on to greater more important things. His Buddha-nature is natural and not forced, learned through years of teaching children and though his own suffering. Yes, we all suffer, just when you think you got the market cornered on it. I have learned a lot from him more by example then by him pointing out how I could change or getting frustrated by my behavior. Often when he is gone from a visit, it all begins to click on what I need to be more aware of. It is more often rare to hear him complain after a bad day at school, although he feels welcome to do so when he wants. He is often helping others free and tirelessly in art events, be it poetry, dance or performance. A multi-talented friend who does not brag, but instead spends the energy that usually encompasses to expand his talents or to share his expertise. Just writing this down does not seem to give him the justice he deserves, it makes the reality of my good fortune to have him as a friend all the more significant. I did not know him before my injury so he can’t really see how far I have come, but trust his wisdom of my value as his friend.

The other day when I had the Buddhist nuns over for tea, he just happened to join us unplanned, and it was nice to just shut up and let his merits just shine. Lucky me to have two important forces of change for the better in my life meet. He later commented on how wise and happy they were. I didn’t think they would ever cross paths, as he is not a Buddhist.
Just before I took off to see family I made him aware of the important role he plays in my life and he told me likewise as being one of the few people he sees on a regular basis for friendship and support. I know if I do leave to live overseas with my partner when he finishes school, he will be one important friend I will miss. Lucky me!

The Shaded Path

I've got to watch what I say, what I think and how I act, a subtle reminder when you find you are sick. Driving the nuns, brought some light in with a dhamma talk and a great meditation. Telling stories on the way back was a delightful way to end a Friday night.

Used for Science in a Good Way

I just found out that a Dr. friend will study my body to use it for the quest for better and more effective pain drugs to help others. Since I can't use it to its full advantage, might at well let others use it. So happy that I wanted to share this song with you.

The Crumpled Paper

I carry up the end of the line not wanting to walk ahead of the ajahns to do walking meditation on the beach on Vesak Day. We are all silent, I put my hand in my pocket and feel a crumpled piece of paper. I pull it out and want to throw it away, it is just a piece of paper I washed and dried with my pants …it can’t be that important.

I throw it towards a trash can, it bounces off the edge, I chuckle, it is begging me to read it, I guess. I pick it up and peeling it back carefully like a 3000yr old papyrus, I realize it is a dedication note for a shrine, I had rewritten to place on shrine after a weekend about a year ago.

The first line was to a friend who was having terrible time in a difficult relationship, and before I got to the second line, my phone vibrates and see a text from the same friend asking me to lunch. All things pass, he is now fine and removed from the pain he experienced, then. Many years ago, in everyday life, he gave me my first dhamma lesson about what is important(People vs Things). The second line is to my sister suffering from mental illness, and the third to my mother to give her strength with the pains of aging. I give it some thought about when these might pass. While the others walk silently along the shore, I lie down and sleep on the sand between sea grass humps, sometimes I can’t fight the exhaustion, a gift of this brain injury. Surprisingly, I woke up just as the group returned, joining them in the same place in line that I had before…. no one knew the difference.