The Dust Also Rises

My table in a quiet murmur speaks to me, “Remove my dust, please.”
I, like the rock can't move. I am waiting for the next wave of dust to settle, from the vibrations of life. Attentively, I stare, listening to the sound of silence. The rock says, "Hey, you, Mr. dreamy eyes, can you bring me some water? I really look quite handsome, with the salt water of the Kehoe beach. Don’t you remember when I left you so enchanted, when I surfaced among your miseries to wake you up? You dragged me home to sit in dust with all I have done for you? I tell the rock, “Hey, listen up, buddy, you're enjoying the vibes of all life, some of that dust is mine or I mean me…its’ really me. The rock says, "It is who? How can that be?" “It is the ever changing me, some of my precious skin lies there on you. Up close and personal. Are you wearing protection?", I say, laughing. "Hopefully, it is the fun parts, or those same enchanted parts we share, because I have shelved the misery for right now. So, enjoy the dust." I turn the light off and rock whispers, "sweet dreams."

This Hand ...

This hand shoed off the photographer at my 4th birthday party
because I felt shy.

This hand was held while my mother stopped my nosebleed when I had a fight with my best friend at 5.

This hand was held, by my father when they stitched my eyebrow cut open when I enthusiastically ran after my father to fish and fell face down on rocks at 6.

This hand grabbed a tree to hide behind when someone shot at me and my friend walking along a frozen creek at age 7.

This hand held the reins of my first pony I bought with money I saved from mowing lawns at 13.


...and Later

This hand was held by my partner when he was told I might die while in a coma.

This hand wai’ed the older gentleman crying who sat behind me as appreciation for his fortitude for
being there at a 10–day Vipassana, upon completion.

This hand fell on a nail and provided no feedback as to its state, besides being very colorful.

This hand swept up to the sky in yoga many times in sun salute, trying to make it mimic its mate.

This hand cannot feel anymore and too soon will lay still at my side and burn in my cremation.

Between now and then it is busy, Na?

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Season of Change

With the same “off again, on again” vibrations of life, my Vipassana course cancelled at 8:30, because of a storm and power outage. I just laughed and started to un-pack. I was in email contact with one of the nuns when this happened, so she knew how much I wanted to go. Later, they called back at 10pm saying it was on. On the drive out there in a storm, I was buying tea for the teachers for dana, and something told me to buy a pair of rubber boots. Good thing! The weather seemed to be coordinated perfectly with the concentration of our minds, stormy snow and rain at first, clearing to sun. On the fourth day, I was lucky enough to be served a smile by another man in our dorm on the way out of the meditation hall in a kind of like a “whew moment” that we all shared. Tried to work on my numb left side in the meditations, and on the eight day my left index finger and second finger lifted up above the place it rested on my knee. On day 7th and 8th day, I found some heart “blockage” that I pierced in visualizations, as it arrived and passed. Just noting without craving, my heart beats clearer and adds some new vibrations even now while home. I am hoping to integrate this in my daily meditations, using body sensations to realize impermanence. Just the same my guard spider is gone for now, but he usually moves down when the wind comes up in spring back to the trees and hedges nearby.
Yosemite was perfect closing for the weekend ending of this course before heading home, a suggestion by a dhamma brother. Many Thanks All!

My Guard Spider

With my guard spider in place above my door, I am taking off for a 10-day Vipassana to work on some more anger. I need this after dealing with contractors on and in my house for the last two months. Luckily, I bumped up daily meditation to 1 hour a day. Sorry, I have been to busy to post these last couple of weeks, so here is a interesting TED talk on "The Birth of Word."

Imaginary Love

I, like the character Francis, was the sensitive one in my 20's, but luckily could walk away when things were not right. Not to say that there was not pain, tears or attachment. I still knew what I wanted, beyond the hormonal needs. Perhaps, I saw the future. Ha! Cute film, as intense as the early 20's see love. A couple of brilliant scenes of forsaken love. Ouch!

What would you do?

The Japan catastrophe is weighing on everyone's mind. I know the suffering there to me, occupies my thoughts. We have prayed in temple with the sole purpose to help the Japanese.

Today, I rode my bike to the gym as usual even though it was raining. On the way out of where I park it in the gym, I had just mounted and the band holding my pants flew off and landed right in front of this man who I have seen in the gym. He just steps over it and continues walking, when he could have easily picked it up and handed to me. When it flew off I laughed like saying," Ha!", and when he ignored it, I just continued laughing. I know if was in position I would picked it up.

This week, I had a 92 yr old woman who is my computer class come to try the restoration yoga I go on Saturday at my suggestion. I helped her get set up, and up and down, and when things got a little too hard for her, I set up up for a relaxing savasana with props and a blanket, But she really liked legs up the wall... a first for her. Some poses she said would like to do them just to keep the body working. She was inspired by my "niceness," and when I walked her to her car, she said Thank you gave me a hug. She in turn, inspires me in class and even coming to try yoga. And this why she is still going while all her friends sit home and complain about their ailments!