Compassion Flash

I recently went away to see family and in a brief moment of compassion, I offered my house to a new friend who was in town. Normally, unless it is a very close friend or family I wouldn't bother. Looking forward to less power and water use as one of few small perks when one is away. Examining this momentary compassion surge that appeared when I took me out of the picture for just one second and offered my house. Now, I wonder about my true Buddha nature and my untapped ability to be a more compassionate being. How often do you catch yourself being the one who knows? Just being aware led me further to get groceries for this friend, to give freely and naturally knowing that I could die anytime. Do you want your last gesture to be miserly?

Fun and Inspiring Self-Repair Weekend

A day of meditation on love and compassion with the wisdom of the Buddhist Nuns on Saturday, and July 4th evening spent chanting and meditating with Jai Uttal, Radhanath Das with the beautiful flute playing of Menose. All this helped smooth my rough spots without drugs or drinking. After a nice weekend like this, peace comes easier without any fireworks.

Sample of Kirtan with Jai Uttal and Radhanath Das:

Sample of Menose:

Count Your Lucky Stars!

After being sick and then off on a trip to see family it gave a me a brief time off to review my life’s progress or lack there of. I often feel the pinch of self-pity, so I know the best remedy is to have gratitude for what you do have. One person that I am very grateful for is my close friend who is always there. Over a cup of tea he will listen to me complain and will be quiet, never reprimanding me but instead letting me vent until I see that it is going nowhere. He does this quite diplomatically, letting me figure out how ridiculous I sound to myself and thus ending it by his unengaged way. He lets my own wisdom shine clear past any perceived difficulties, and on to greater more important things. His Buddha-nature is natural and not forced, learned through years of teaching children and though his own suffering. Yes, we all suffer, just when you think you got the market cornered on it. I have learned a lot from him more by example then by him pointing out how I could change or getting frustrated by my behavior. Often when he is gone from a visit, it all begins to click on what I need to be more aware of. It is more often rare to hear him complain after a bad day at school, although he feels welcome to do so when he wants. He is often helping others free and tirelessly in art events, be it poetry, dance or performance. A multi-talented friend who does not brag, but instead spends the energy that usually encompasses to expand his talents or to share his expertise. Just writing this down does not seem to give him the justice he deserves, it makes the reality of my good fortune to have him as a friend all the more significant. I did not know him before my injury so he can’t really see how far I have come, but trust his wisdom of my value as his friend.

The other day when I had the Buddhist nuns over for tea, he just happened to join us unplanned, and it was nice to just shut up and let his merits just shine. Lucky me to have two important forces of change for the better in my life meet. He later commented on how wise and happy they were. I didn’t think they would ever cross paths, as he is not a Buddhist.
Just before I took off to see family I made him aware of the important role he plays in my life and he told me likewise as being one of the few people he sees on a regular basis for friendship and support. I know if I do leave to live overseas with my partner when he finishes school, he will be one important friend I will miss. Lucky me!

The Shaded Path

I've got to watch what I say, what I think and how I act, a subtle reminder when you find you are sick. Driving the nuns, brought some light in with a dhamma talk and a great meditation. Telling stories on the way back was a delightful way to end a Friday night.

Used for Science in a Good Way

I just found out that a Dr. friend will study my body to use it for the quest for better and more effective pain drugs to help others. Since I can't use it to its full advantage, might at well let others use it. So happy that I wanted to share this song with you.

The Crumpled Paper

I carry up the end of the line not wanting to walk ahead of the ajahns to do walking meditation on the beach on Vesak Day. We are all silent, I put my hand in my pocket and feel a crumpled piece of paper. I pull it out and want to throw it away, it is just a piece of paper I washed and dried with my pants …it can’t be that important.

I throw it towards a trash can, it bounces off the edge, I chuckle, it is begging me to read it, I guess. I pick it up and peeling it back carefully like a 3000yr old papyrus, I realize it is a dedication note for a shrine, I had rewritten to place on shrine after a weekend about a year ago.

The first line was to a friend who was having terrible time in a difficult relationship, and before I got to the second line, my phone vibrates and see a text from the same friend asking me to lunch. All things pass, he is now fine and removed from the pain he experienced, then. Many years ago, in everyday life, he gave me my first dhamma lesson about what is important(People vs Things). The second line is to my sister suffering from mental illness, and the third to my mother to give her strength with the pains of aging. I give it some thought about when these might pass. While the others walk silently along the shore, I lie down and sleep on the sand between sea grass humps, sometimes I can’t fight the exhaustion, a gift of this brain injury. Surprisingly, I woke up just as the group returned, joining them in the same place in line that I had before…. no one knew the difference.

Karma Washing

As a treat of compassion, I made plans to drive Buddhist Nuns to see Amma thinking they have never seen her. They had seen her in England a few times and even traveled to Amritapuri, Kerala to her home to see her once. Thursday is the quiet day at the Vihara, and no plans on the calendar it made sense. We packed the day in, to include a hospital visit after, and to conclude with chai at my house before they had to return. Now, I have seen Amma twice in the past who helped to inspire my Buddhist path to begin regular temple attendance, my hospital volunteering, making merit like painting a temple, setting up and helping out at various events.




The energy was high, the people happy, and the children amazing in a world of love. Having arrived early enough to get a token to receive darshan within the first hour, we settled down and talked about seeing her and to the people around us. sitting next to me was a wise 1 yr.old girl with her mother, who still had connections to her previous life(as it seemed to us). When the beautiful chant started just before Amma’s arrival, I got tears in my eyes. The Ajahn sitting next to me, pulled out a tissue, but I said I am fine, and enjoying my tears. It feels wonderful and no longer afraid to express emotion, a by-product of my brain injury. There was video of Amma helping poor around the world that had been showing the whole time while we waited which helped to prime my heart. Amma’s entry was still very casual entry where she walked through the ashram to her chair, and started very shortly thereafter to hug people. The Ajahns went first, and then I followed. I just watched people because most have a lot more love than average person on the street. I approached with the guidance of her helpers and was treated to a long almost double hug. I could not really say anything, and sat close by after her embrace to watch others. While there a smiliing girl of about 18 who was working for Amma, came up to the Ajahns knowing who they are. She said her parents nursed Ajahn Sumedho when he had a broken leg in Europe when she was a little girl. It was fun to watch her story unfold.

Later, when we had tea at my house to show the Ajahns my collection of saints before I sell them to pay for my partner's masters and perhaps a PHD later. One of the Ajahns liked one of the small old saint photos I had on my wall, so I gave it to her.


Amma’s love blessings continued today, when I came home I noticed a car with a huge blue stains on the side. One kid from school, had been playing with a pen that exploded all over the car and they were just trying to clean it up with paper towels. I went into my garage and got some goof-off and a rag and ran over to help. I managed to get most of it off, while the girl was still crying and covered in ink. I told the Mom, to use some rubbing compound on it or to hurry over to a detail shop to have them buff off the residue. All her kids came over and shook my hand, so surprised a stranger would help.