10 September, 2007

Effects or Expectations?

The effect we have on others is often forgotten. Last night my past lover and now a close friend called. He has been busy and I have not heard from him in awhile so when he called I felt relieved. Hearing his voice, I cannot undo the memories of the time we spent together. We, of course have skillfully moved into a rewarding friendship. I won’t say this was easy but necessary because there was still love…maybe in a different form. Thinking, it is something everyone should do when they breakup. This happens when you have solidly developed a friendship when you are partners. I have two other past relationships, besides this one that have evolved into close friendships. Now, they are going on 10 and 20 years. I know it hard to be mature when a relationship breaks up, and feelings are raw. But look to the future and what you want to keep that you still find valuable. Looking at my photo, my father would often forget how the effect he had on me. What mistakes he made or where I would go in my career and when. Luckily, towards the latter part of his life, he tried much harder to be understanding, and compassionate. Sadly, it could not fully undo the damage he caused when I was a boy. But, I had matured in my expectations in the years after his death.

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