31 August, 2008

Yacht Naught

Earlier this year, I found a blog of a guy doing what I wanted do. Bingo. To sail around the world. Wow. Reading it I could feel the salt air blowing on my face, and time stopping effect of sailing. Even reliving the way your legs feel when you finally walk on a dock. I wanted to be there. And this is not on some whim. I have sailed a bit, on boats similar to his on a very difficult bay, and come from a line of sailors. Maybe not an old salt myself, but I am familiar with a lot. My father built a sailboat from scratch. I was thinking I could join him while in Thailand, because he was nearby. Fly to where he was, and join him for a month as a member of his crew. Mind you this was a shared expense journey, and has a daily rate. Knowing my partner would be busy with school and work my second month there, it sounded like a good idea. At least it did to me then. So I contacted him when he had a spot. To introduce him to who I was I sent him my blog link, and wrote him to apply for his open position. My blog profile mentions about my brain injury, and he quickly replied no, that I would handicap him. From his experience with previous crew members with less serious issues. What he did not know that I lap swim an hour, do an hour yoga, workout in gym plus stairmaster each three times a week. But now really all I could say is I respect your decision and good luck. So this fictional letter is to him.
Dear Skipper,
You don’t know how many times I could kicked myself, when I was 29 and vacationing in Mexico I met two guys who had a yacht. I went out for a day sailing with them after talking to them. They said, “Why don’t you crew with us to do sail through the Panama Canal, and to the Eastern Seaboard. And the next season sail from there to Europe?” I so wanted to do it, but had just taken a job in my desired career(at that time) that I worked so hard to finally get. After much consideration I declined and the rest is history. One of the many dreams to help speed my recovery after I got home was about sailing and to do the trip I had so foolishly declined when I was at my peak. Maybe a month on a boat, someway, to find out if I want to set a long term sailing adventure like yours as a potential goal. That dream kept me going nearly 4 years after coming home. But dreams change or evolve.
I do have thank you for not taking me this time. It turned out to give more quality time to spend with my partner that I would have spent on the boat. It is really funny how things turned out to be better than I would have thought. Happy Sailing.
Was Once

Things do happen for a reason, and maybe I was not meant to sail that time. But I made the choice in my head to not be angry. It turned out to be this time, another gift of love. Sure, I was disappointed but once he said no, and of course he would not change his mind. He had formulated an opinion of me, (right or wrong)that seemed like a logical move for the safety of his boat. I really can’t blame him.
Very much like a typical reaction from most new people I meet with my speech problems, of fear or disgust. The reason for most is unfamiliarity, or misunderstanding the cause. Or maybe it reminds them of their own passing? I have learned slowly over the years to not take it too personal, by imagining I am on the other side of fence. You know I was once, and perhaps in will happen in another life.

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