A Peaceful Talk

A friend asked me to go to another organization’s Dharma talk and meditation that fit better in his busy schedule. Of course, I said yes, but watched quietly on my internal chatter. In that space between my ears, I heard myself debating whether it would be as good as my current teacher who has 30 years experience direct from a well-respected Tibetan monk. I fought quietly my dismissals of pre-conceived ideas of how it would be, and forced myself to go openhearted. I knew the organization's stature in the community and heard of them for years. We arrived early thinking there would be some Chi gong warm-ups first. The church that held these talks, also houses and feeds homeless so we walked in just as they were entering for the night and settling down. After a quick look around we found out the warm-ups were cancelled, so I said lets meditate until they start the session.

Sitting down in the back of an old, cold, gothic church, I pulled my hood over my head, since I have short hair to keep it warm. Starting to meditate, using the idea of relaxing expectations, so in the 40 minutes it took to start the session, I was fully relaxed. In a poof of smoke most all of my reservations left, so I could easily settle in for their mediation before the talk. People quietly entered and some sat in pews, and a few sat on the floor. I know people get attached to “their” spot wherever it might lie, so I watched and let most everyone settle in, then took a space left in the side aisle. Another 40 minutes breezed by, without me every having to move, primed from my earlier meditation with hardly a thought coming to mind, but the chill of the church. When they broke the meditation, I moved to a pew totally focused on whatever this new dharma teacher had to say, taken by his calmness and forethought that was maintained throughout the teaching . He spoke on one of Buddha’s teachings to monks about letting it be, and just watching every feeling that arises. Whatever it may be. I was happy knowing that if just one person is helped then it really doesn't matter who the teacher is. The teacher never misspoke or guessed, and upon completion answered questions from people. I watched when three different members asked questions and looking around it became quite obvious the suffering aura the room carried with it. I am not saying I above suffering by no means, more of the awareness of the commonalities we all share living this human life. Perhaps, I am just lucky to see at this instance to see my suffering takes a seat behind all others.

My new quote that I hope has never been expressed anywhere:
“If you are no longer a man of your word,
how can you maintain the belief in yourself?”