A month ago, while talking to a Buddhist nun about their new temple she remarked you look so bright and young after I told her my age. I quickly replied, “Ahh, the power of dhamma!”
Last week, I stopped by to see my ex-business partner at work and in the middle of catching up he kept looking at my face. Looking at all angles of it while talking about his life, while I customarily agree in silence. He said, “You had some work done,” but dropped it fast when with his observation he saw no scars. I let it go, because he always thinks I am doing way better than he even though I am scraping by, hand to mouth. I have been meditating a lot these last two months, to lessen my desire to be with my partner while he is busy with his Masters. Combined with knowledge that I feel more lightness of being overall. I tell him I am working on myself to be chai yen(cool heart) for him. It would be a feat, but you always have to set your goals high. Chai yen is not showing your anger or displeasure, which for him is now second nature. For me it is a different story, standing up for myself frequently being perceived as an idiot with this disability. But you know—you can't change the world, only your mind.
A couple days later, another Thai friend said you look well, and your checks are rosy. He said you have monk cheeks, having been familiar with those effects shown on monks who meditated. I said, “Really? Don’t say Olay! They got in trouble showing Twiggy airbrushed back to about a 30 yr old in an eye cream ad. So when you think meditating is too hard, just remember it takes years of worry off of your face...truly anti-aging!
añjali Phra Apisit >
* you inspire me
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