09 November, 2010

Do I post to let people know I exist?

Bicycling to a cafe while out of town, I sat down with my tea and said "hi" to a gentleman sitting reading the paper, inquiring about a free chair next to him. In asking one question as a reply to one of complaints, I was suddenly subjected to a total hour of his life's story without any breaks. I began to size up why this was happening, as whatever mindfulness I had at first just flew away. Perhaps, he is lonely but it seems like too much information on his side without any regards to me. It seemed so peculiar, but certainly tied in to why the gentleman may not have any friends. I could not even been there once he got started causing me to burn out any compassion I had. It was so exhausting that I told him I have to go to the bathroom, and never looked back...and left the place. A man who complains about the intentions of others, who did not reflect on how he presents himself.... discordant like the dancer below.

Thinking of this guy's verbal papancha reminded of the question, "Do I post to let people know I exist?" I have said previously that the real reason I blog is to provide my partner my partner a real insight as to who I am in case I die unexpectedly(like do we ever really expect it?) But, I, in fact, know him well enough to know that words from my thinking mind make no difference to him, as he really works from his heart. He knows full well who I am, it has been almost ten years now. I finally know my life's purpose and obviously it was not to write but instead to allow my partner to be able to reach his full potential. In the process I have learned to love without expectations with the knowledge his pure intention and consistent love was his gift to me.

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