24 November, 2013

The Funny Thing About Love

My partner took a long afternoon nap, and I know the pressure from work and the idea that his life will change dramatically because on Friday we spent a long filling out forms for his interview for a Visa. I worked around it, even joining him for an hour of it. I took off to do errands, and he offered to drive me, and I said. “I don't mind taking public transportation, you just nap.”
It took me a long time to learn this, but when I finally my partner be himself and do what he wants and when, the love blossoms naturally and freely. Of course one might say that we have matured in our relationship, but I surely had to let go of my desires, and just trust him fully. I have said in the past that if he or for the matter me, did anything wrong it would have never been done purposely to hurt the other. In reviewing my past actions, I could easily say that in times of personal insecurity, I would pressure him to fill my vacuum. No one likes to be forced into action that is not naturally in his or her way of expression. My wisdom in this came out of meditation exploring feelings as they appear in my body. Some people might read into this a kind of subjugation of one to another, but this is a maturation of a relationship that works dynamically and naturally. It also helps that he is responsible and honest to others not only me.

Yesterday, I needed to go acupuncture, and he was resisting letting me go, as we doing errands, even though we could easily meet later. I did not push it, knowing I am not dying by not going. It settled in his mind, and he could see I was in a bit of pain and so he naturally went with me with no complaints. Things have their own momentum. I offered to pay for him to try it for pain he had from running instead of insisting coming from the need to for him to learn about it. Surprise to me he followed in to the table beside me, where in the past he would say it would say it something crazy I do. The funny thing about love, you have to get the “me” out of the way. Boy, the payoff is great, I keep getting more and more displays of his love naturally. Even verbal appreciation for things I did in the past flow naturally from him. I continue to tell him how lucky I am and his reply, “We are both lucky.” 


Mind Of Mine said...

I couldn't help but think what I would want in terms of dynamic when I have a relationship, when I read this. IT makes for some interesting thinking.

Was Once said...

Yep, loving yourself will haunt you until you figure it out and will allow relationship dynamics to evolve. Trusting came first, observing and verifying. Having a good foundation really helps. I have done this in other relationships, at which point they broke down and we went our separate ways. I had the ground work covered with past failures, which in turn, firmed up what I really wanted in a relationship.

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