I recently served a 20 day Vipassana course, and it quickly became obvious..under the
work load and meditating three separate hours a day…that my karma dictates a
sense of abandonment from others that don’t do the same amount of work as I. Before
I arrived I had asked for a position running the dishwasher, but when a
non-english speaking person came later he was given the job, and I was switched
to dining room “manager,” even though it was pretty much a solo position. Which under the circumstances I fully understood, but
walking an average of 7 miles a day and working non-stop with a brain injury
produced sankaras to rise fast, when a few people were resting or meditating
more while I worked with a brain injury. Now, I am not saying everyone else
slacked, because several busy people would help me out, but I not quite fully
understand internally, why I should just accept the ones who do less. That is
my karma. But with a few people who would jump in to help me, also inspired me to work
hard for a week in my spare time... not meditating...
but filling the side of a
cement walkway that could collapse by trucks driving over it. I shoveled a lot
of dirt and rocks, to pack it in and it came out pretty good. So, anger was
used constructively about the few who would not help me. Of course, right now you all are laughing at me, when I could have just napped and let go of any ideas I had, but this is me. So, this path is long,
and it might take me a lifetime to let go of things, but I am committed. I was
lucky to have fun people to help, and two great assistant teachers who shared
many of their funny stories of their own path and they knew me. I still refuse to lay around and feel sorry for myself which has led me to greater healing, yet many have no idea of the difficulties I experience.
I recently served a 20 day Vipassana course, and it quickly became obvious..under the
work load and meditating three separate hours a day…that my karma dictates a
sense of abandonment from others that don’t do the same amount of work as I. Before
I arrived I had asked for a position running the dishwasher, but when a
non-english speaking person came later he was given the job, and I was switched
to dining room “manager,” even though it was pretty much a solo position. Which under the circumstances I fully understood, but
walking an average of 7 miles a day and working non-stop with a brain injury
produced sankaras to rise fast, when a few people were resting or meditating
more while I worked with a brain injury. Now, I am not saying everyone else
slacked, because several busy people would help me out, but I not quite fully
understand internally, why I should just accept the ones who do less. That is
my karma. But with a few people who would jump in to help me, also inspired me to work
hard for a week in my spare time... not meditating...
