Gratitude Wakes Up

I was ready to just sleep, with all my clothes on… when gratitude came to mind. I emailed the man helping with a new brain therapy(new to US, not Europe) to ask him if would like lunch tomorrow, since he would again treat me for two hours right about lunch time. This therapy is complex on how it works and I don’t have enough energy to lay it all out for you. So, I got up made him a fresh pearl tomatoes and string bean salad. It will cut my much needed sleep, but you and I know it will be one less thing to harp on before you doze off.

I do remember to make gestures to show my gratitude for using me as a test case for him. I will gladly show other patients how well it worked for me. It is important that one doesn’t just use Thank you and walk out. To come up other ways to show how significant others good will does for us. It is funny to find myself excited about feeling more and talking better for my partner, because I am so used to it.

I will be very sporadic posting, as I am getting ready to leave the country and fixing my house at the same time I am busy with therapy. Hopefully, I can get everything I want to get done before I leave.

Offloading on Monastics

A woman stood up in the Sangha, unveiling a nightmare of family problems afraid of where it leaves her mind state in an upcoming retreat. Like a car wreck, you can’t help but listen and look but also feeling compassion for her because you know how she is feeling. She can’t possibly go into enough detail to get any kind of resolution. The teacher spoke of watching your mind, her aversion and the hurt while in mediation which seemed like a good reply, because it not about others but yourself and how you handle difficulties. Everyone has some difficult hurdles in life, and it all ends with our death.

I have told teachers and monastic’s details of my life, in casual conversation to help them understand why I say my sister’s name about whom to chant for during prayers. I spoke of her paranoia and schizophrenia that took her away from the family. She loves her delusions. I don’t really expect any monastic or teachers to solve my problems. I do see many a person, having never come for prayers or a Dhamma talk, offload on them, treat them like free therapy. They have given up a lot in the pursuit of wisdom, no drinking, no eating whatever and whenever you want and wearing the same robe. They suffer and probably still do…they are human beings stuck in Samsara. A fair bit of compassion should be held, by us lay folks. Maybe even respect, like make an appointment so they are prepared. When it asked for and the timing feels right, by all means discuss things that getting in the way of your spiritual progress. To give them a logical way to approach your problems, in the framework of the Sangha, their experience and your own growth. I am by no means saying to suck it up, but everything in life has its time and place. Sometimes, you will see a monastic saying nothing as you cry, from their wisdom seat they know nothing they say can be said to make you feel better…don’t be surprised.