Offloading on Monastics

A woman stood up in the Sangha, unveiling a nightmare of family problems afraid of where it leaves her mind state in an upcoming retreat. Like a car wreck, you can’t help but listen and look but also feeling compassion for her because you know how she is feeling. She can’t possibly go into enough detail to get any kind of resolution. The teacher spoke of watching your mind, her aversion and the hurt while in mediation which seemed like a good reply, because it not about others but yourself and how you handle difficulties. Everyone has some difficult hurdles in life, and it all ends with our death.

I have told teachers and monastic’s details of my life, in casual conversation to help them understand why I say my sister’s name about whom to chant for during prayers. I spoke of her paranoia and schizophrenia that took her away from the family. She loves her delusions. I don’t really expect any monastic or teachers to solve my problems. I do see many a person, having never come for prayers or a Dhamma talk, offload on them, treat them like free therapy. They have given up a lot in the pursuit of wisdom, no drinking, no eating whatever and whenever you want and wearing the same robe. They suffer and probably still do…they are human beings stuck in Samsara. A fair bit of compassion should be held, by us lay folks. Maybe even respect, like make an appointment so they are prepared. When it asked for and the timing feels right, by all means discuss things that getting in the way of your spiritual progress. To give them a logical way to approach your problems, in the framework of the Sangha, their experience and your own growth. I am by no means saying to suck it up, but everything in life has its time and place. Sometimes, you will see a monastic saying nothing as you cry, from their wisdom seat they know nothing they say can be said to make you feel better…don’t be surprised.

Full Moon Rising

After taking two nuns to speak at a very cute Quaker House in San Jose, I felt the love that was inside the building. I don’t know if it was from the members we were present last night or from the residuals from the building. But it gave me a good feeling to mediate there. It was also nice to see people talk to the nuns after their dhamma talk, conveying interest. I really think the monastics are an important part of learning the dhamma. For without them you cannot see how far understanding your mind can go. It is not necessary to go as far, but you can at least have deep appreciation for the clarity they can provide lay people.

This is only proves a full moon was rising....I was in the gym going to yoga, walked in and put my mat down in the exercise room, and walked out into the main room to do ab work, which I finished and walked back to sit down on my mat to meditate. Two minutes into it, a woman walked up to me, and put her purse down. I looked at her, and she pulled up the leg of her pants and accused me of causing a bump on her leg. I don’t what she is talking about or where that was supposed to have happened??? Realizing that she is someone I have seen and figured out that she is not too well, I think to myself, “why do I deserve this?” She makes a comment about me having a cell phone, and I say it is allowed. She walks away, and I think, should I go complain to the management? I settled in meditation, but agitated. Yoga starts and I am motioned to leave to talk to the management. The man is apologetic, and asks me some questions related to her accusations. I tell him I think she is crazy, and he replies paranoid schizophrenic. I tell him why does this happen to me? Because, I have a schizophrenic sister? Oh, well. I go back into class and less than 10 minutes, the yoga teacher, taps me to look outside the glass and I see a policeman standing with the manager motioning me to leave class. I walk out calmly. They both apologize and understand this is someone we have to deal with when healthcare is so poor and non-existent. I answer any questions they have about the situation and what contact I had with her. Then I leave and finish my yoga class. The teacher, who I like, asks me, “Is everything all right?” I tell her about what happened and about having a schizophrenic sister. I figured out that she fixated on the light yellow t-shirt I was wearing saying, “GOOD VIBES” and that is was exactly the same color as her pants. The teacher and another friend from class sat and talked about her pregnancy and life and it all passed. They did not kick her out and she continued on the exercise machine as that would solve nothing with a schizophrenic.