Introduce Enthusiasm when Difficulties Arise

dedicated to Moher, who with her humorous style —
laughed all the way until she passed last May

We know that we learn the most from our difficult times, and there is a huge storehouse of them just waiting around the next corner, so why act surprised all time when they do appear? It is a chance to use some aspect of experience and wisdom that we have gained.  Humor may not result until we are over the shock of the discovery that things are not the way they are “supposed to be.”  Let’s try to introduce some enthusiasm about the unknown, instead making that psychological connection to our death immediately? When we put an old pair of shoes, or nice comfy bathrobe there is some familiarly with them and we relax. If we can relax like that when the body has pain, or when you have too much to get done today, the subtle signal will introduce some ease. The feeling can come out of the understanding of the fear only and may later appear warm. It will then blossom into enthusiasm and maybe humor later when you realize the main problem is how you try to push it all away like a child. Have we not grown up?  Our teenager response of approaching this with the “grin and bear it” model, because your body knows bullshit well, and will slap you silly. We just don't know what is next despite all our plans to the contrary and that alone in humorous. You have made it this far, gather up some of your innate wisdom and lay on the table. GAME ON!

This was sparked by the enthusiasm of my partner last night on Skype, knowing we can be with each other again soon and just enjoy some morning coffee before his work. He has been patient will our separation and my disability, looking beyond current difficulties to the bigger picture.

Seen on Bentinho Massaro's T-shirt:

"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."

Finding home, a little history...

When my doctor finally got around to jerking my stomach tube out, I knew it would be all better now. Well, almost. "Aren't you gonna stitch it", I ask?" "Nope" he said. I have to say it was as fun going in as was coming out.
So, I got real busy on finding a new home, since I would soon be kicked out of my first condo. So, I got a friendly realtor to help in my search. If I only had a brain. He would drive me around, and view what you can’t afford just to put me in place. So, he would just drive me to other side of the tracks. "It’s got great bones," he would say. So, after a month or two of this I threw a tantrum. Then he just dropped the MLS book in my lap, finally I could chose! Enee, meanee, miney, mo. My finger lands on a page. Watch out here comes the cripple, and watch him drool out a meek hello. Time was awasting, with a deadline to get out of my old old condo before they bulldozed. I finally found a cute little probate. “I smell dead people.” I was so happy, this is it! I already had signed the papers and was busy saging the house to find that my friendly home inspector missed 100k worth of termite snacking on the house. Oops. Conveniently, the fine print says I can only recover his fee. Silly me, I still can't really read yet. I knew I had really done good, when I find out my next-door neighbor pounds out my wake-up call on our joining walls at 3:30 am. Sally also makes a perfect 10-point turn when she polishes off a vodka bottle. It is cute how the crunch sound of neighbor’s car reminds her to back-up and turn. I would come home, and find her passed out in her car, wake her only to find out she wanted me to help bring her vodka gallons into her house. Occasionally she would ring my bell, and forget why, so she would just rant on the fact that she could not understand poor little old me. Well, 4 years of this and she was found to be just a little expired after 2 months of quiet, but oh, so well pickled. Home free! Not. I forgot to tell you about Billy. The wanderer. When I could see the bed hair at 3pm, I knew I in for a good staring down. He would wobble by without a word, fixating on you. He likes me. Oh, yeah and he was a great parker as well. If not on the sidewalk, he was splayed on our street, like the car just up and died from his bad breath. Charming, friendly Billy used to wander up and down the street leaving his mark in new concrete, BILLY WAS HERE, and a few years later he was not. I missed a good friendship and a free house, damn.The welcome wagon has finally arrived, my humor.

Afternoon Cup of Tea

Working with a client now and she tells me she I make her feel more comfortable than someone else she interviewed. I attribute it being a lot more down to earth after my near death experience. Besides this, I am a lot more humble and work with people instead of telling them what to do. If they are involved throughout a project they become more attached and understanding when I explain my idea. She still is cautious, but I have assured her I will follow through until she is happy, as word of mouth is the best referral. I have also told her that I take my work home with me, and think it through, allowing me to get a better overall view of the project. I am still able to do other things while still keeping her house in my mind. Approaching it like a piece of art, finessing and fine-tuning, just like I am tying to do here with the blog. I am working towards a certain kind of casualness, like an afternoon cup of tea.

I did have a dream last night of getting a job in my old field of advertising in New York. It showed me the excitement, but also the awareness of the work I would have to do. In my dream, after much deliberation I declined the job yet felt honored. I guess I have come to know what I can do and what I can’t do with this brain injury. I tell my new brain-injured clients in my volunteer at the hospital to be more realistic about life and above all have humor with yourself.