This is Your Mind on Purpose

Philip Anderson artist

There is an older man in my Sangha that I often see in my temple, and other sittings. We have been to one 5-week class together, so at least I am familiar face. Tonight, we sat for a 40-minute meditation followed by a stellar dhamma talk, after which I turned back and saw his smiling face. While leaving, I said, “Keep it fun!” ….putting my hand on his. He said, “You are fun!” and we launched into a conversation about dhamma and life. At one point I said, "The older I get I realize that I don't know anything." He replied, "By saying this you know something." What he doesn’t know he is one of models for how to wisely deal with aging….with a smile. Because no matter how many years you have lived on this earth, if end up being a grumpy, old, “been-there-done-that” kind of man you will never get to share your wisdom with anyone. If you are like this man, smiling even with a body that is falling apart, and skin heading south …then the world is your oyster and people will come to you. You will never die lonely and forgotten wondering what the hell life was really for.

So here is my card to Carlos, when I see him next.

"Enchanted Tripitika", near Patravadi Theatre

I have often look to your smiling face, as inspiration on this path, as so many get caught up with making this a serious, “get it done” endeavor. Your smile rewards people with a vision that is beyond the me, that we so dearly protect and helps point us all to a life that puts aside the misery and fear associated with aging. It signals the lightness of your being that is awake with possibilities of mindfulness, knowing that it is a conscious decision to smile with all unknowns of life. You are one model that comes to my mind on this wisdom path. I am not that far away from you in age but still miles from the smile you share with the world.

Thank you.

The Don't Know Mind

Most of the time when I engage in a sit, whether it regular daily meditation or a group sit I do it knowing it is probably the most important thing I can do to alleviate my regular human suffering. If enlightenment ever comes it will be a great addition to the benefits of a regular sitting practice. I have said in previous posts that I do see a lighter approach to life, in general since I started daily sits.

Last night, I wanted to go have a beer while walking to my group sit, but decided that to forgo a good 40-minute meditation for the temporary happiness of a pint of beer began to seem like a foolish idea. It was a good call, and once I made the decision quickly I happily continued on to the sit. Arriving to see a substitute for my normal teacher, who I have heard once before. I told myself, just relax with any expectations. I greeted her and helped set up and sat down. I had a diverse sit, beginning with all the noise of people arriving late, and her dog checking out all the people one-by-one which made me break into a smile when he came around quietly. My technique, besides just watching the breath is to just see what arrives to my mind. I can go from single pointed concentration to a wide-open sky approach and back. The only thing I do very consciously is bring the mind back if it wonders too far in panacha(obsessional thought). Concluding my meditation, which towards the end when I dissolved my body to my pleasant surprise, the teacher talked about what kind of meditation is best for states of boredom or anxiety. Introducing the single-pointed concentration for boredom, and the wide-open sky approach for the anxious mind where the don't know mind seems appropriate. I think for me, the feelings I have can range between both at any time, sometimes masking one state for another. I was very interesting to hear a dhamma talk about resting in the Don’t Know mind.

So often we want to attack meditation like house-cleaning or book learning with our western sensibilities, thinking that once completed we will automatically advance to higher level...or be OK. We think we are whipping the unknowns of life by always “doing” something. How often do you relax around not knowing while not doing anything? If we approach meditation when we are anxious with the Don’t Know mind the relaxation about life will creep into everyday life. I can’t ignore the unknowns of life by keeping myself busy. Things will happen at their own rate, and to be more relaxed in general will be a huge asset when life gets tough. So, I guess I really don't know.

All Actions with Intention...

Photo by Ronald L. Haeberle

be they skillful or harmful, of such acts will be their heirs.

— last line from reflections on universal well-being, Pali Prayer

“There is not a day that goes by that I do not feel remorse for what happened that day in My Lai,” Calley. His voice started to break when he added, “I feel remorse for the Vietnamese who were killed, for their families, for the American soldiers involved and their families. I am very sorry.”

William Calley, the former Army lieutenant convicted of 22 counts of murder in the infamous My Lai Massacre in Vietnam, publicly apologized. Some 41 years later. Whatver the intention, he is still living with it.

This may be an extreme example..but this incident in history, played such an important roll in my young life, and made my parents keep me out of the military. I saw this when I was ten without the internet. Did it keep Abu Ghraib from happening? Sadly, no. I am hoping I can use this to help me with being more mindful with my intentions.

Monastic Weekend

“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is Dana?

I was wrapping up a beautiful Vietnamese Mother and Child painting for my yoga teacher who is expecting a baby soon. I felt a pinge of stingyness, as this one, was a painting I enjoyed in my home for many years. Dismissed this fairly easy, knowing that I felt this would a great gift for such a kind soul. It was truly my intention to give her something as important as her presence has been in classes. Always consistent, never a surprise and her classes were calming. She feels to me to be a meditator, but maybe just her karma. One day, I said to a few friends in class that her baby will be just as sweet as she is. That baby will be so lucky! She has been teaching nearly right up to her due date. Tomorrow is last class before she delivers...and hope she is there. Dana can be the food you give the monks, the money to a temple, a helping hand to a stranger or volunteering in your hospital. In my photograph, Alang got flowers along with food on our morning Alms round. Cultivating generosity through dana is one perfection I still have not quite mastered as evident by the feelings I had earlier. Still learning.

The six perfections are:
Dana paramita, perfection of giving
Shila paramita, perfection of discipline
Kshanti paramita, perfection of patience
Virya paramita, perfection of exertion
Dhyana paramita, perfection of meditation
Prajna paramita, perfection of wisdom

A Thank You to Three Smart Women

This is my thank you to three women that have made a huge difference in this planet and helped to inspire others.

"Save The Bay was founded in 1961, as "Save San Francisco Bay Association" by three East Bay women who were watching the Bay disappear before their eyes. Kay Kerr, Sylvia McLaughlin and Esther Gulick set out to stop the City of Berkeley’s plan to double in size by filling in the shallow Bay off-shore. They mobilized thousands of members to stop the project, and their resounding victory was repeated on Bay fill projects around the region.

This first modern grassroots environmental movement in the Bay Area won a revolutionary change - tens of thousands of Save The Bay members forced the State of California to acknowledge that the Bay belonged to the public. Save The Bay won a legislative moratorium against placing fill in the Bay in 1965, the McAteer-Petris Act. The Bay Conservation and Development Commission (BCDC) was established by the State to plan protection of the Bay, regulate shoreline development, and ensure public access, which at the time was almost non-existent.

BCDC became a permanent agency in 1969, and continues today, the first coastal zone management agency and the model for most others in the world. The agency Save The Bay created has prevented most additional Bay fill, and since BCDC’s inception there has actually been a small net gain in the size of the Bay through tidal marsh restoration. Agency permits for development along the Bay have mandated new public shoreline access, increasing from only four miles of access in 1969 to over 200 miles today.

Save The Bay fought to close the garbage dumps ringing the shoreline, and stop raw sewage flowing untreated into the Bay. We helped establish the San Francisco Bay National Wildlife Refuge and helped stop the Peripheral Canal from draining more of the Bay’s fresh water from upstream and we fight to protect the Bay from today's biggest threats - pollution and sprawl.

For nearly 50 years, Save The Bay has given San Francisco Bay a voice, and helped shift public attitudes from complacency to vigilance. Today, Save The Bay continues to be the largest regional organization working to protect, restore and celebrate this great natural treasure by advocating for strong policies that protect the Bay from pollution and inappropriate shoreline development; restoring habitat to re-establish 100,000 acres of wetlands; and engaging and inspiring more than 25,000 supporters and thousands of students annually."

Reminders of Other's Suffering

Sitting in a full plane in a window seat, the gentleman near my age in the middle seat leaned over just after I sat down and said, “Do you live in San Francisco?” I said yes and he told me that all his money and documents were stolen in Hawaii, and he is flying back to go to the German consulate to get passport and a ticket home. So, I asked the guy at aisle seat, since he had an Iphone, to please look up the address to it in the city. That guy later bought him a beer since he had no credit card, but then went back to his movie on his computer with earplugs.

I drew out on paper how to get there in detail once I knew the address. I could sense his anxiety and the need to talk to me. He wasn't overly talkative, and respectful. And over the course of the almost two hour flight he told me bits and pieces of how he arrived at this difficult time in life. I said to him I would show him where to go, and get a better map when we arrived, since I am not a rush to get home. I said it is a waste of money to stay in a hotel, since you are short of cash, just shower here at the airport and grab the BART to the city in the morning when they open.

He proceeded to tell me he got divorced from his wife about two years ago, and she got the house, sparing him the half million mortgage debt. Which I pointed out was one good thing to rest your brain on. But this left him with no home, and lost his job as a horticulturist with the market downturn. He told me he even has a PHD, which I could tell amazed him he ended up in this position. He got unemployment, and it ran out this year, and housing and food being so expensive in Kauai he ended up at friend’s houses, and then the street where he his money and passport were stolen. He said, “This all I have after 10 years in Kauai pointing to a bag under the seat.” I shared my story with him, my losses, etc and it seemed to help.

When we arrived at the airport we walked together so I could show him where to go, and while he went outside to smoke, I went downstairs to get an airport and city map. I found him again and we sat down at a table while he had a beer, and went over the directions and how to get to the embassy and get a ticket home to see his sister and get back on his feet. We talked for over an hour, and he asked me, "How long did it take to get back after your losses?" Choosing not to tell him that I really haven't, because that would make him feel less anxious. I told him instead what I think is positive... that it took me to explore new methods of thinking about me, life and lead me to Buddhism. I said most of the hard part is in your mind, how you perceive your trouble and that is where you should start. He expressed his fear he did not want to end up dead so soon, so he was consciously not taking any drugs or drinking too much, so he was willing to go back and start fresh. He pointed out that he tried anti-depressants and did not finish his first fill and was happy he could spend time with his sister he had not seen in ten years. I said that is where you start, what you like that you have done so far ...what is good in your life and expressed the importance of letting go of the past, what is done is done, and work with going forward now. I gave him a piece of smoked salmon I was bringing home and he lit up. He had one more beer, while we continued talking and he told me that after this one he just go lay down in the airport and sleep. When he finished he walked with me outside, and I said thanks first. He said, “No, I should say thanks for all the help, and if I have any trouble tomorrow I will call me you." I could tell he was somewhat more relaxed than when I first met him. Like I told him earlier, nobody is immune to suffering, and seeing him was my reminder, hence why I said Thanks.