23 September, 2009

Open Door Spirit

I felt a wee bit more relaxed about life after the all night meditation and when I returned a friend who is staying with me even remarked that I seem happier. I joked I am so tired I can’t possibly work up the energy to be bitchy. So, I was thinking it would be best to go again to weekend day I found online at a different venue far from the last monastery I went to last. The same monks from that one will be there and we can feed and help them(dana). I find it remarkably odd that I found this. I can’t seem to let this opportunity just fall by the wayside, regardless of feelings expressed in last post. They opened a door to my spirit, and now I feel an obligation to make it know how much I appreciated this time spent with them. We are all working towards the same goals. Plus, who knows if I end up being in the same robes on day in my life again. I wonder if they yearn for some appreciation of the sacrifice they have made for wisdom and dhamma. These monks where not born into it. So, the decision to leave the householders life had much more importance and only they why they made this move in their life. I know they have some small taste of what they miss from samsara, regardless of all the wisdom they have since gained.  It would not be seen as given towards the monks, but is considered merit. Merit I would earn for all those who have helped me to know love and have love in my life like my Mother. We live our lives by example. So, tomorrow and the next day I’ll cook, and remember the great food I was given when I was a novice.

Today, my partner said he working hard on his Masters for us.  Getting up late at night after work, with hardly a moment to breathe. That struck me, because most people think of themselves. When I work on myself it helps me but sometimes it can help others. They can share in the lightness of being that I can be at times,  but can also see the possibilities for themselves.  I am still trying to help others with no "what's in for me?" motive. That can be very challenging to do, because at the least you expect a thank you or a smile. But, I am getting better at thinking would I like in this instance... maybe some help or even a little understanding. Understanding of the monks, in this instance and others in life will open many doors.

No comments:

Blog Widget by LinkWithin