Intricacies of Love

As this month has rolled by, one thing sticks in my head through my experience at this time. That whenever a person loves you they are doing it their way. The moment you want something more or different is where we get in trouble. Pure love, I was taught over and over in Dharma lessons is wishing for the other person to be happy. Not with the idea that they have to make us happy in return. But this is done with wisdom, not masochism. Looking at the big picture instead of getting hung up on minutiae of your own insecurities. Maturation, even for me still comes in waves, with a few deviations along the way. If I am to light the path for my partner, friends and family, I have to be on the path. Not acting, talking or even just entertaining wise ideas. And believe me it is work in almost every instance. You have to act with some reflection as to why you are doing such. Look at why you are hurt over the most minor differences in thought and actions. Seeing success sometimes, and failures in others(not in a grand sense, it is usually in minor circumstances). I am doing better at this as time goes on, but I can’t really stop there when I have seen how well this works. I have experienced marked changes since last year, maybe not visible to others but my own internal experience.



And one thing I think that is so cute, is how my partner knows he will be thought of when I am at temple. He said he won’t tempt me with calls or a visit, although allowed to. It doesn’t quite register with him how strong my desire is for a sharper mental awareness. Tonight, he will take out my one earring in preparation. And if I am truly wise, I will leave it out.

Buddhist-Ease

I have been waiting for the right idea to expand upon, sorry if I seem to have dropped off. My spider story got some negative feedback like, “Are you bored or have nothing to say?” But you have to give your friends credit when they make you think or push you. Today, I meditated on one of the Lamrim about death and impermanence. If one comes to realization that nothing exists in the same form and everyone will experience death. Overtime, it will bring a more present awareness of life and our place in it. It will ease us out of the thinking that grasping onto things outside of ourself as being a firm constant that once obtained the happiness will flow. I have nicknamed this as “Buddhease.” Finding the awareness and reflection we get with meditation and dhamma that I have seen a distinct lightening of character. And gradually letting go of always wanting it to be my way. I am by no means perfect, but at least by now when I say of do something inappropriate, just know that I reflect on most every action, and make a clear intention to change next time. I have noticed how I now look at things in my house and outside, with a clear knowledge that they are aging like me. It is a definite new way of thinking but becomes obvious once you experience the fact(in meditation) that we have a tendency or trying to hold on and preserve something that is constantly changing all the way down to the cell level….our me! If you get far enough along in meditation you can do object meditation trying to find the “I” that is you that you so fiercely cling to. You will find that your “I” is a mental concept only. This may sound weird in copy, but whether or not you experience this you still can benefit from meditation, if only to calm your busy mind down. This will allow you at least to look at how you deal with life.