As this month has rolled by, one thing sticks in my head through my experience at this time. That whenever a person loves you they are doing it their way. The moment you want something more or different is where we get in trouble. Pure love, I was taught over and over in Dharma lessons is wishing for the other person to be happy. Not with the idea that they have to make us happy in return. But this is done with wisdom, not masochism. Looking at the big picture instead of getting hung up on minutiae of your own insecurities. Maturation, even for me still comes in waves, with a few deviations along the way. If I am to light the path for my partner, friends and family, I have to be on the path. Not acting, talking or even just entertaining wise ideas. And believe me it is work in almost every instance. You have to act with some reflection as to why you are doing such. Look at why you are hurt over the most minor differences in thought and actions. Seeing success sometimes, and failures in others(not in a grand sense, it is usually in minor circumstances). I am doing better at this as time goes on, but I can’t really stop there when I have seen how well this works. I have experienced marked changes since last year, maybe not visible to others but my own internal experience.
And one thing I think that is so cute, is how my partner knows he will be thought of when I am at temple. He said he won’t tempt me with calls or a visit, although allowed to. It doesn’t quite register with him how strong my desire is for a sharper mental awareness. Tonight, he will take out my one earring in preparation. And if I am truly wise, I will leave it out.
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