Decorating or Depression?

So they say 10% are homosexual supposedly and now 10% in the US are on anti-depressants! The huge shrinking sane population… does that mean if we are not decorating we are depressed? Do you think your Doctor really cares in the 6 minutes max when get when we visit? If they really cared they talk about other ways to help with depression. Like exercise, eating a balanced diet and sleep. Don’t forget about meditation to look deeply at your expectations in life as to what you think is supposed to make you happy. I would say turn off your TV. Don’t compare yourself to others that may have more than you do or appear happier. We are stuck with same problems as others, but usually manifesting when we don’t like them to. Do you want to live in peace? Just work on understanding your mind, and the impermanent nature of life. It doesn’t mean becoming anything but more acutely aware of how we think and deal in life. I have some first hand experience taking antidepressants not for depression, but to help with my aphasia and speaking with more ease. It actually helped my speech, but the side effect of lacking emotion, a kind of flatness about life and a chemical feel in my body made me want to quit it fast. I have seen other friends on antidepressants and their apparent lack of understanding or investment in how others feel. It seems like the same thing that lowers their perception of themselves is carried over in dealing with others. So we can’t fix everything with drugs and luckily they won’t try it with my life-threatening, good taste.
Thanks to Chusak Srikwan's ox hide artwork.

Without Drugs? and Giving Thanks

I am thinking of aging and dieing without major long-term pharma-ceuticals use. This might sound great now, when I have no major illness to maintain or control. But when I was just out of ICU, I quickly convinced the doctor to take me off of blood thinners. Later when they prescribed anti-depressants to help my speech(they did somewhat), I hated the feeling and quickly got off.

I have seen so many older folks end up taking so many pills, that they have no idea of how they combine and react over the long term. Or one drug made for one symptom could easily cause another. Just read the fine print, which I am quickly finding is too damn small for me. Plus, Dr’s in USA are pill crazy, no preventive answers. We all know that aging make your blood vessels smaller and many times ends up with high blood pressure naturally. I posed this in a forum, and one person said my view is provocative and could easily agree. But he was worried about illegal drugs, and the ease of legal drugs and often they are consumed. He did confess he was on High Blood pressure drugs and a statin for cholesterol. Further he said that feels to be in good shape, yet says he doesn’t exercise enough. Signs that he like me could keep on top of our own health better as always.


We all have seen Grandma or Grandpa with their daily pills regime, often times taking multiple pills with nothing but water or juice. Just imagine what your stomach and upper intestines look like. My polyp in my upper intestine was caused by vitamins over the years, lying there dissolving in mass, oftentimes without enough food to absorb. Later, in his further replies were more about addressing life and thinking death is not imminent. Yet, we do not know ever, how soon it will come knocking.

We all probably know someone who died when it wasn’t there time and the shock experienced with this. But, hello …the shock was even more pronounced with the person thus described. Unresolved feelings and appreciations for all life has brought so far. This is why I am going to be a novice monk next month. It will allow such a space to really contemplate life and to give appreciation and thanks to my mother and all my friends, and especially those that stuck by me after my injury. In the midst of life’s total upheavals, I have been fortunate to have love and heart felt concern for my wellbeing. I could only repay this by helping others and making it my life focus. It is good that the money I give to the temple and the foundation attached to be a monk, help disadvantaged Thai and Burmese in schooling and income generating projects.




Next, I will try to convince and pay for my partner to go get his first eye exam at age 30 this weekend, and get his teeth cleaned which he now does every year with my suggestion. Wink. I finally had to get glasses to read outside of home, because it became hard to compose photographs in camera. Oh, well little signs of my stubbornness. We were made for each other.

Be somebody

Are we what people see, or what we want people to see? Almost 45 years after Marilyn Monroe’s death, we are still dying our hair, and getting pretty. Too pretty, to match our favorite star. And, for what? …to hide our insecurities? We are human, and we do have flaws, and trying to live up to ideals of perfection thanks to advertising. I am not talking about basic care like washing and putting on clean clothes, People that let it all go, need help. I am really talking about showing people who you really are, not some TV reality show version of you. What happens when the person you are interested in, finally gets to know you, without all the bells and whistles? You will be so unlike how you presented yourself, enough to facilitate a “buyer’s remorse” claim. Any wonder why 11 million Americans are on antidepressants? Perhaps they are depressed because they don’t know who they really are or facing it made them sad. You are not what you own or wear, or for that matter, how great your hair looks. It can be scary to be yourself, but can be so liberating. It just might help to turn off all the noise to meditate and find out who you really are.