Not An Island

This came to me after a dinner conversation when someone said something that seemed like a wrong term. It started a heated argument with three of us. I found myself feeling insulted and agitated. By accepting these words as valid, then I am, in effect, playing dumb. I am not as stupid as they are, I must be thinking in my head. What an ego! I wondered later why, while in meditation, did I take offense, as it was not directed as an insult to me. Later, I asked a Dr. friend for the correct answer, and I was correct. But at what price to be right and be myself? I began to think about the individual or the self, the hard line that seems to separate us from others. We are not them! Especially in the US, we so proud of our individualism. We tattoo our skin, dye our hair, and pierce our skin to define us as a unique individual. Getting offended if someone is like us, and on the other hand wanting people to agree with us. But, in fact, we do not or cannot exist without others. We share the same needs, desires for happiness, and fears.
Looking all around, every time we go anywhere for somebody to recognize us. Seeking others that we need. We want to loved by the same people we are trying to define ourselves as being different from. Now, how silly does it sound now? I’m certainly guilty of this, and am still not wise now as I write this. Ship this island some wisdom, please.

Dreams Across Oceans

What happens when you have a late dinner of home made curry, and go to sleep less than two hours later? Dreams that consist of a fantastic muddling of things experienced and wanted. I even fell back to sleep twice to continue the journey, and it was not difficult to resume the same “film.” Often I am able to do this, with a strong intent. I generally have interesting dreams, and a couple of them reappear to entertain me. One is going to a far away town on the water with handsome colonial style architecture, and I can see the island a mile off shore I want to go to again. Often I hike to the grassy knoll and say with a sense of relief, “There it is!” like I am trying to show somebody. Now I know this is a combination of Trinidad and Tobago and Sri Lanka places I have been before, but like all dreams it is a mismatch of ideas and feelings. It never appears to me to be unattainable or frustrating, but a true expression of what I know and want. There is a sense of love and understanding, and I wish I could write better about this. I would like to spin these dreams into a short story. Like the time I had a old right hand wheel jeep with a friend tooling around Tobago, and it the middle of nowhere in the rain and mud we got stuck. We made it out later, by just being calm and trying everything we knew of, just in time to watch a sunset on the opposite side of the island. So I have plenty of experiences to pull dreams from, places seen, love found and lost, full of hope and expectations to be met.