Rushing into Being

I know when I start to spin on all I need to do, and I get less and less efficient. It is time to get back into my body. So, when a friend agreed to go to the country for a drive I suggested the night before, I leap at it the opportunity, dropping everything for the day. I immediately felt relief with this distraction to breathe some more space into life. I really needed to sit with myself in nature as opposed to in my house, which will soon not be, and just see what was coming up. I know deep down one never gets it all done, and I am kind of waiting for that big sign that this is it and I can finally just rock with it. We drove to an area not far from us, but one he had never been to. I could experience his relief upon seeing beauty that he forgot was out there when one gets so trapped in their thoughts. We drove for quite a while to an unused park in the middle of nowhere and I just settled in for an hour of meditation and silence, knowing that a nap would just be escapist. With birds and a rabbit around, and a warm wind blowing to cool the psyche it was easy to sit with myself. I laughed, because the area which I have liked for years, now seems like it wants me here and now my mind wants to figure out how to have a piece of it.

Find some stability in a world and life that never has any. Sensual pleasures do have their hook, but it is about avoiding what is currently present in the mind. After my hour meditation I talked with my friend about the fact that whenever I get so involved in life, spinning and being busy the more I lean towards meditation and the wisdom that comes from it. It is not the answer, I am the answer.