Independently Stranded

I overheard someone talking at my gym while I started meditation, about going home to her parent’s house when she will has surgery and to stay there when she recovers. That, of course sounds logical because of where they live they have no stairs which is better after she has knee surgery. But it also says a whole lot about your supposed independence and your friends who can't take the time to help which she said was more of the issue. We often think we can be independent of others. We were raised with help of our parents, and we need people at every step of the way; from getting a job, to eating vegetables we did not pick, to having a partner able to share their love. We need others even if it is just to be an ear to our problems.

In yoga you look for community, it is not done alone independent of others as a workout in a class situation. Today, I offered a suggestion to a woman who is my class, but after class and not in front of others. I said, “Don’t work so hard, when out of breath, rest and watch. We all are beginners at our own level.” It is the only class she takes, and it is kind of advanced, and I fear she will hurt herself. Many poses if done when tired you can get lazy and do damage to your body. Someone told me this when I started 10 years ago, and I relaxed about keeping up. I still rest now, when I get tired. Sadly, a lot of people feel ashamed if they rest no matter how many times the teacher tells them it is, in itself, a natural pose.

Well, she took it all wrong, and was offended. I guess she thought why would a stranger tell me this? Because she said, “Of course, I am not a good as you, but I do fine.” The look on her face said, I crossed a line I should not have. Now, should I just let it go or write my intention down on paper was to be helpful to her not judgmental? In class quite a few people of all ages talk to me, so I am not some odd man out throwing this out there. I just don’t want her stranded or discouraged which can happen if you jump in without getting the body conditioned to the moves and positions. Or should I learn from this not to speak until spoken to?

Pick or Shoes

I have noticed that we people think we operate in a vacuum, alone and fully independent. So this week I have been entertaining friends and new acquaintances I have made. I do this whenever I feel a bit down on myself, to acknowledge the importance they make in my life. All I have to do is remember, that people and family were there the moment I was in ICU. I continue to try to make new friends whether at work, play, or the gym. This is very hard given my disability, but the minute I begin to lay any perimeters on my life, I lose out tremendously. I need people, you need people and we need them more than we often think. It takes many people to enjoy our cup of coffee, or our power, or to make our shoes. If all these people were on strike we would not be very happy without these things. Today, when I called 411 three times talking as slow and as calmly as I could and asked for a business number and they gave me a new wrong number each time. It was hard to not be mad, because I had driven across town to find a business and wanted to call. So, I instead met a friend and dealt with calling the phone company unrushed when I got home. Because I was calm and nice, they apologized and took the charges off my bill. There was no point in showing with anger to the person who handled my call that this really made an hour more of work and put me behind in what I wanted to accomplish. I just talked about the weather on her end and my end and ended it with a calm note. She in turn will have a much better evening with one less angry person during her shift. Knowing the chain reaction we can often cause, because we are so interconnected.
I want to send prayers to the monks and the people faced with bullets in Myanmar(Burma), just to help their fellow citizens eat. They need us now.