The Noisemakers

I was meditating in the gym before yoga, and this came to my mind. Some people have the need to make noise. It is kind of like the “I am here!” drop of keys, a mat or a ball. It can be done without thinking, but I think it is done to get attention. I have noticed in Asia people are less likely to do this or be engaged even casually in someone else’s business. I know my partner is so quiet, almost in stealth mode. So, these noisemakers would be considered rude there. I know several times I have groaned while doing exercises, in the hopes of getting some sympathy and perhaps a smile. I just know someone is thinking the same thing, “Why am I here? Of course, I am not immune to these same things just becoming more aware. With my awareness I am saying hello more to strangers, instead of slyly making noise. Changing.

I will be meditating and the person next to me will have a friend who just happens to have some new gossip, and will come talk to them, quite audibly knowing I am quiet near them. I have now gotten used to every noise and refuse to let my brain go there or listen. Or to get bothered. It took time, and even patience with myself to not be engaged in noise or conversation. I can…with intention. I do think that when I die, people will continue to talk and make noise and I won’t party to any of it. Better get used to it.

Pick or Shoes

I have noticed that we people think we operate in a vacuum, alone and fully independent. So this week I have been entertaining friends and new acquaintances I have made. I do this whenever I feel a bit down on myself, to acknowledge the importance they make in my life. All I have to do is remember, that people and family were there the moment I was in ICU. I continue to try to make new friends whether at work, play, or the gym. This is very hard given my disability, but the minute I begin to lay any perimeters on my life, I lose out tremendously. I need people, you need people and we need them more than we often think. It takes many people to enjoy our cup of coffee, or our power, or to make our shoes. If all these people were on strike we would not be very happy without these things. Today, when I called 411 three times talking as slow and as calmly as I could and asked for a business number and they gave me a new wrong number each time. It was hard to not be mad, because I had driven across town to find a business and wanted to call. So, I instead met a friend and dealt with calling the phone company unrushed when I got home. Because I was calm and nice, they apologized and took the charges off my bill. There was no point in showing with anger to the person who handled my call that this really made an hour more of work and put me behind in what I wanted to accomplish. I just talked about the weather on her end and my end and ended it with a calm note. She in turn will have a much better evening with one less angry person during her shift. Knowing the chain reaction we can often cause, because we are so interconnected.
I want to send prayers to the monks and the people faced with bullets in Myanmar(Burma), just to help their fellow citizens eat. They need us now.

A Dog Day

On Sunday, at a party a Chihuahua was running around among all the people. He jumped up on my lap. I guess he sensed my calm state brought on by Saturday’s all day meditation. He quickly fell asleep even with all the people and noise. It also came in handy today with work and dealing with an uncooperative painter who was painting for my client. He took upon himself to ignore what the client and I agreed upon and make decisions only to make his job easier. I worked in some of his ideas he had made the client agree to, but then when I was firm with my ideas, to make his ideas work he stormed off. I maintained throughout, which is just short of a miracle. I did not raise my voice, nor did I disrespect him. It does point to the good changes I have made in the last three years. I know that I can’t rest on my laurels and need to keep on working for the remainder of my life. The old habits we have are so much a part of us, that changing our mind is an ongoing process.

The Hidden Buddha

The day after a full day of meditation that brings the Buddha out of you. I was much more calm and even tempered and quite relaxed. I am always reminded in a good way to keep doing it, seeing slight progress nearly every time. Today, I answered a posting by a woman who wanted to know what to do with her life and was open to suggestions. I told her about a Japanese woman I met with my partner while traveling. She was alone traveling all over S.E. Asia writing a blog and getting financial support by Japanese men at home to timid to do what she did as a woman. It brings me to the point that we have a lot more freedom to do whatever we want in life and often feel hampered by our own mind. Is it the fear of change? Or, trying to be so safe we often miss out on the fun and exciting things this world has to offer. The simple fact of leaving our own little world is very liberating. I used to joke, looking at the carpet in someone's house..."No, I'll just follow the path!"