Joke Out of It

With this day to day existence here, I am enjoying my time with my partner. Each time I come here, I assess whether this is a place where I can live. We both have long-range plans together, if not here than in another country we like. We have the time on our side while he’s busy finishing college. Sure, I know that problems follow you and new one suddenly appear. New surroundings just make them a little less until you settle down. I have a firm relationship, to fall back on, but we don’t need any more unseen problems disturbing it. Sometimes our different natures can be a head butting point, but we quickly come back to our love. That is natural with our extrovert and introvert personalities. We both like to joke, so we use that when the other partner is upset.
Lately my partner’s work has been jerking him around, again. They gave him a new position, but now they want to change back to the old one. I have seen what the long hours, and the factory mismanagement does to him. So I proposed to him to be firm and if things don’t work well, quit and I will support you until university ends at the end of the year.
Meanwhile, I am getting very familiar with our daily ritual. We do enjoy a lot of the same foods, some that most Americans would shy from. Our typical dinner is tuna, boiled vegetables, nham pik, and pla nin. I can eat better here for less money than at home.

Where is Buddha?

I have seen my partner work hard jobs for seven years and he is in the last two terms of college. His employer is based in Europe, but here in Thailand has been working him insane hours for next to no money. It would be fine if it only a month but this has been going on a year... 14-15 hours a day! The company has hired many people and they all quit. The factory can’t produce orders on time and my partner gets it from the boss in Singapore and the clients here in Thailand. I saw on email from his boss and I was floored knowing how good a worker he is. I have told him to quit, but he was hoping to get three years under his belt before quitting when he graduates. At this rate it has taken a toll on his studies and life. As his partner I cannot see him go on any longer, when he is not happy…regardless if this costs me until he finds a new job. I asked him to resign for his mental health and because this same thing happened to me when I was his age! Funny, history repeats itself…only this time I will try to make the pain less. Now, for a good short resignation letter!

Small Treats

On the bus home after going to my Buddhist Temple, a young man was playing a guitar, and he got off on my stop and played on the walk home. What a treat, reminding you of how little you need to change your mental state and make your day even better. This is after a great teaching about patience at temple and a day of rest earlier. On a rainy day, I don’t usually want to spend a day in bed, but it almost ended up this way. My body said, “hello, it’s winter and you need to slow down!” Yesterday, I did stay up late with a dinner with a friend and seeing a long film, Lust/Caution. It was a beautiful story, but it shows the real tragedies of love. When one has expectations of what they want out of love, and it most certainly is not patience. I finally spent time talking to a fellow member of my temple, about our experience of patience and anger, and how much we have learned. But learning about patience and applying, makes it clear that we need it to keep learning and use to practice more. I did get accepted into the 10-day silent meditation and of course I know it will be mental work. Maybe when I done it will take a firm hold and grow like a weed.

A Walk in the Night

It took a night to wind down after a busy week. Last night a couple of clients took me to Pakistani dinner and a drink after being happy with my conscientious work on their commercial building. I worked with another client today helping her finesse some cheap lamps into better looking ones by adding hardware and painting some. Finally at the end of the day, I got a chance to talk to an old friend for an hour on the phone. Later visiting another to get some cheap dinner and talk. Taking photos tonight to find an interesting one for this page. I found it odd when talking to a client earlier and putting some paper trash in recycling, she said, “You are not one of those?” I quickly said “Yes, I am.” I care about the environment and my impact on it. It kind of made her think, but I am sure it won’t change her mind or bad habits. I found it interesting that she has a child, and I don’t.

A Dog Day

On Sunday, at a party a Chihuahua was running around among all the people. He jumped up on my lap. I guess he sensed my calm state brought on by Saturday’s all day meditation. He quickly fell asleep even with all the people and noise. It also came in handy today with work and dealing with an uncooperative painter who was painting for my client. He took upon himself to ignore what the client and I agreed upon and make decisions only to make his job easier. I worked in some of his ideas he had made the client agree to, but then when I was firm with my ideas, to make his ideas work he stormed off. I maintained throughout, which is just short of a miracle. I did not raise my voice, nor did I disrespect him. It does point to the good changes I have made in the last three years. I know that I can’t rest on my laurels and need to keep on working for the remainder of my life. The old habits we have are so much a part of us, that changing our mind is an ongoing process.

Flight of Happiness

Today, I had a couple of weird events happen. One was an acquaintance texting me, and detailing his problems that are reoccurring. At the end of one message he complained and then added don’t tell him to do anything that I find works to quiet the mind like meditation, temple or exercise. I finally had to call him, and just say then what the hell do you want?(A friend brought this to my attention, that doesn't sound like me. It was not what I said, just a shortened version of my point) Condemn my solutions, ignore my common sense ideas I propose every time he whines, then go see professional help or just leave me alone. I can’t offer you comfort that you will never hold on to. Which brings to the conclusion I expounded to him about... is that you will never find happiness outside of yourself. The minute you give over your own power to have happiness to other people or things you will fail to find it. Lovers, friends, money and health cannot be depended on to make one happy. Just look at your past love, and how you once loved them and now at best, they are casual friends. Or a friend in the past that is now an enemy. Every thing in life changes, except for how you think about it.
The other thing that happened was a client who was late to their last minute change appointment. Upon arriving they really don’t have clear idea why they called me or what they want to do. Nor did they want to pay me to dig it out. I left befuddled but not upset, stopping by the park to pick berries and then go home for a nap.