When Dhamma is not Entertainment

When I first jumped off the complaining bus, and arrived at a local buddhist temple, I was captivated by the real job-holding dhamma teacher. It was a welcome change to hear something that before this time was all preconceived ideas. This dhamma teacher was normal, had kids and a wife and all the other assorted problems attached. How could I, as a single person(at that time), not get some great examples of where dhamma fits in daily life? Laughing while learning, being at first entertained. He led me and the sangha in meditation, then using simple analogy to weave dhamma and life's stuff that always seem to be directed at you. A quick intro, I won the pot 'o gold with a medical malpractice brain injury from a Dr. that exhausted his insurance, unbeknownst to me...leaving me disabled and dealing with questionable lawyers for 4 years.

Back to my temple, this male teacher taught one night a week, and slowly I graduated to two nights exposing me the other teachers talks. One suggested that this sangha is yours, and I began to help with set-up and clean-up. I met a few fellow sangha members, and each one had their own story and insights. Luckily, some were more experienced and helped me to dive deeper in simple understanding while working with them and others.

Then a new female teacher appeared, transferred from the East coast, who was a charming Brit, with a unique story of telling her Mom at a 3 that she would doing this, from a previous life experience. She was a simple, yet profound teacher, and one teaching I just knew her unspoken intention was to make dhamma clear to me. Perhaps, it might have been good timing or finally meditation was giving me small signs of awareness before unknown to me that prompted me to believe this, but “It” was working. She had a great personality, and a funny dhamma teaching husband to boot and both were liked by all. I began to more engaged in pujas, and longer weekend events there and away. And I was helping more around the temple, eventually helping to paint the entire building from her inspiration. I became friendly with an older member of the sangha, who's subtle teaching based on interest in my progress worked wonders in the after hours. We worked along each other setting up and taking down, and although 20 years older than I was tireless with her dedication to the practical aspects of dhamma. She was retired marriage counselor, so I think she used her wisdom from her practice on me.

In the first year of the "famous and loved" dhamma teacher appearance, she had to go to another temple far way to do her wonder work in the winter season for another temple. I didn't know in advance, so it was news to me. The temple would use new teachers, sometimes a bit green, until we found a new more seasoned dhamma teacher to fill in. I could sense my  disappointment, and low and behold, my comparing mind came in for a landing. After a couple of Tuesday nights, I continued my commitment to dhamma and helping out, but was still trying to judge the substitute teachers. When the older sangha member used to drive me home, I would talk with her, once complaining about the other subs and she got quiet, all while maintaining her smile. It then dawned on me that I was caught up in craving and aversion, because like most of us change is not a simple on-off switch. Sometimes, we need to steep in our errors, but that evening ride's talk helped. Dhamma was working it's little miracle with her subtle response, and she knew how to start the fire.

Growing from what is first perceived as an aversive, a teacher who might not be as entertaining as the one you like, and just watching the mind in the reactive state is dhamma in action. You can support the sangha instead of walking out because you are not satisfied.  One never knows if the new teacher will say something that will guide you further on the path. This simple awareness helped me grow tremendously with a little help from that older sangha member and by watching the mind in meditations. It made me realize Dhamma is not entertainment, it can be where you can grow in wisdom. I know now, that it was my first real sign that I was on the right path, many years ago and that awakening is a process of learning, and relearning until it becomes second nature.

Just throw a little Natural Disaster in the Mix

I arrive, to spend much deserved time with my partner. I had worked 6 months on my house, found a renter and it all seems like it was falling into place. The first weekend he had a four day break from his work which was great since my jet lag abated, but it was not as expected. He and his workmates had prepared for the Thai flood as much as they could, now it was just a waiting game.

He goes to work on Tues Oct. 18^th and it is dry, but just starting to bubble up from the sewer drains, By Friday, it was a swimming pool, and he surveyed the water on the company floor and said we should start pumping now, to save the equipment, because even with the sand bags and walls built — it was seeping inside slow enough to enable pumps to keep up. The boss was busy with all the chaos, and he did not have time to do it all. My partner doesn’t come back that weekend, and he says I should prepare to get out of my condo, because the water is coming there next. I rush out and buy what I can to store water in from the hardware store, because by now all bottled water was sold out everywhere. There is a chance the city drinking water, which we filter for our use, will be either lost or contaminated. I fill four huge plastic bins, but in reality that is only enough drinking water for two for one week. I was not fearful, I figured It would play out and I could just ride it out. He says you should get out, because my boss has set-up a temporary office in a city south of, and now I will have to work there until the water is gone.

So much for seeing each other, so I picked a temple nearby where his new office was to escape to for two weeks referred to by nuns at my home temple. Blessings to the nun that suggested this, as you could feel the joy from the abbot. I knew he would not come to visit, because quite frankly you don’t visit someone on a meditation retreat. He took the weekend, following all the work and slugging around in flood water, at the beach with his workmates, while I settled down into peace and acceptance.

I was not the only one there escaping the floods, and because I was the only farang there, I got a few English speakers questioning me. The abbot along with his daily dhamma talk would turn and face the sangha and with a smiley demeanor, tell the flood update. So, it was the talk around temple, even though we are supposed to be quiet. Nobody reprimands you in the Thai style, it up to you to let whoever spoke to you with a gesture of finger to the lips know that you would like to keep this silent. But around lunch and late night temple hot drink after prayers — it was hard to do, everybody talked, “flood.”

FInding it pretty easy to settle in, my own private kuti, with a mat on the floor and fans made it almost cool, and even nights I needed a light blanket. I did morning clean-up following others and I worked on cleaning on huge open air sala which you can see in the post before this one. All the ants, mice and birds make a mess in one day, so you have to mop it every morning....a great way to clear your mind. But also to made the morning meditation sleepy since you are up since 3 am, and have had breakfast you first meal in 15 hours. Many times I would find myself slumped over, folded in half ...snoring. A yogi knot, and a few times fellow meditators would come wake me up.

I can eat most all Thai food and spice is generally no problem, and I liked the Jok in the mornings the best. It just felt right. But after a week there I could tell something wasn’t right with my digestive track, and my mouth never felt clean after eating even when I brushed my teeth. Could it be the water I am using to brush my teeth, or the filter water I get from the free Thai osmosis machine? I tried not to obsess.

Well, 10 days into meditation I passed a worm, and it was such a testimony to meditation that I was fairly relaxed about it, yet did call my sis to find out what drug is best to use. This was the first time ever in all my travels, so it was a new experience. At dawn, I ran into one monk was helpful to me and with the help of one female Thai attendee, and they got me a strong pill to get rid of them with them. Later, when I was talking to an elder mae chi about my meditation and a Thai lady told her about my worm. She said I should have kept it alive and fed it while I was there meditating. Taking the precepts a bit far, I am saying in my head, considering that they eat pork, chicken and fish and are not vegetarians. I later figured it out that is most likely caused by slightly undercooked pork I got from the street in Bangkok, before I went to temple, but the food quality at the temple was less than safe.

All of the while I was think this trip is meant to trip me up, to throw more delicious challenges to see how far I have come with meditation. It has again proven again that all this does not affect my partner and I love for one another. We are dealing with a natural disaster, and I don’t want to throw any more stress into the picture. These photos are all his, click on them if you want to see them bigger.

Ringing In Peace and the Gecko Calls

Almost immediately after I got a tour of the temple and put my bag down in my room, I felt completely relaxed and totally disconnected from my life in the states. Because you lose at lot of yourself in the peace and happiness that pervades this temple, it seems like home. A working temple, with novices who help teach us Pali chants, and we join them with chants and meditation. They provide much lightness and joy. I meditated three hours today each in one-hour segments, and one of which in the afternoon by the Stupa, after three us did Qi gong before as prep. I also got to talk to several other people on this journey and everybody is calm and happy even when things are difficult like being sick. The people involved are interesting and helpful, without getting in your face. It can be as much as you put into it. So, it is really hard for me to want to get online and tease out a piece.



Especially after a novice named Joy was so kind to come and help me work on my Pali, tonight. These connections are so unique, getting to hear about his Palaung village and learning Thai is his second language and English which I tried to help him on a bit. We compared the similar prayers in Mayahana and Theravada and I showed him some of my photos of other temples in different countries. In the middle of a lesson, a gecko barked right outside the widow in my left ear and scared me not knowing the sound. Joy closed the shutters to reveal him biding behind, so I could photograph him high up on the wall.
I am wondering if the gecko is my partner checking up to see if I am ok, as he wanted one as a pet. It just seemed like his style of joking. There is so much to tell, but I am anxious to get to bed to go on alms round with the novices at dawn. A bit nervous to do blessings, when I do become a monk, on similar rounds to the people who will give us the nice food to get merit. It is not begging, and it is a honor to give, so I only hope to honor them with a good Pali rendition. It gives me yet another way to look at how I fabricate worry, when I have no idea. It is just a total waste of time. This evenings chanting is still ringing in my head and it is so lovely all while the birds chirping, cackling and beetles buzzing and the sun going down.

Letting Things Flow

I traveled by boat up the Chao Phraya river to find a temple up just north of Nonthaburi last Friday. In the walk to the temple I ran into some boys who more than happy to pose for the camera, and I just showed them the results that set them off laughing. When I was done I continued to walk to the temple along elevated walkways because it was on the edge of the river. Three different boys came up behind me and offered me their bike to ride to the Wat Charlerm Phrakiet with their lead. We tried all three to find one that would take me and my long legs. We ride to the Wat and the park, and past their school all with them pointing out everything proudly. When we got to the Wat park, I bought them fish food, and one boy was happy to show off the fact that he could just grab the catfish right out the water. They were almost as big as he was, so when they flipped he could not hold on to it.


I took some more photos as the sun set, and of the boys. All with the idea I would return with copies to give them, after they asked me when I was going to come back. I went back on Monday, while they were at school so while waiting I saw a vendor in the park who made cool drawings with two colors of pancake batter and had him make a couple to give to small kids waiting with their parents for their siblings to get out of school. This vendor would ‘draw’ with chocolate batter and then let it cook, and then fill in with plain batter. I am always taken by an artist who works in whatever medium, and this one piece of art tasted great. Just before the dark clouds dumped the sky on us, I went into the temple to hear the monks start their evenings prayers.












Then I got stuck under
shelter waiting for the
rain to quiet down
missing the boys to
give them their photos,
so I have to return again.

Offering of Bliss

Meeting my clients at their commercial building was a nice break in the day. They were looking at the progress and wanted to say how much they are happy with my work. I look forward to more work with them. They were fasting for religious reasons today, but still bought me tea and snacks. Such nice people to work for making my work easy and rewarding. I got back in my car, and got a surprise call from a senior member on my Buddhist temple saying she wanted to sponsor me for our empowerment in Singapore. I was speechless. It would be a sizable amount with air and hotel for a week. But when I really think of my responsibilities here and to my partner and mother I feel it would be a bad time to go away. It is hard to turn down a good thing, but any money I would spend would be that much less I could give my partner for school. So, I graciously turned it down, aware that these opportunities come few and far between. Uggh, now I have to closet my ego.

Traveling down a new path

Today, I was treated to a nice reply to an email from a person whom I replied when they said they were questioning life. Whether in person or on the web, I try when I think can get an ear. I use my experience to help expose people to my worse case scenario and what I tried to work on. Part of me wanting to die happy, is the realization that one can always be a better person. I was not awful, but I still could use some work on myself. As a young man exposed to many people, some of whom were Buddhist. I knew I would become one, when I had time. A lame excuse, but it works when you are young and think you have all the time in the world. My near death, quickly put this to rest. Later, my partner being born a Buddhist exposed me to his calmness and seeing how well it worked for him. He makes it very clear that anger has no place in our relationship. My first experience with meditation was with a friend who was a proficient meditator. I so wanted some mental peace, that I was able to do an hour my first time. It really helps to have someone else to do it with during the first year, and will thus enable you to work it into your routine.
A few years later I went to my temple nearby to hear teachings, and I could see where this would answer my questions about being happy, calming your mind down, and finessing the “better person” out of you. Now I don’t want to convert people, but only show them what works well for me. Perhaps later, I can be an inspirational talker…if I can ever talk! But watching some people I have been in contact with, it still seems like everyone progresses once they see their limited time on this earth.