Children — What Are We Doing Wrong?

I have watched my nephew over the past week, and although he is loved and disciplined well...there is something with American teachings and desires fulfilled that need to be looked at. All children put up a fight with homework and doing things they don't want to do, but without respect for elders they develop a kind of lazy way of responding. This lazy way can range from total frustration/anger to a flip response. Either way I have watched children in Thailand and here in the USA and there is distinctly different kind of respect that we are not teaching children here. Buddhism addresses desires as not a method to find happiness. Wisdom addresses the attachment to things and people. Give any child in the US a toy, and soon they want one they don't have that is bigger or another friend has. Let a child grow up like this, and they continue on this path as adult. On a path of continual disappointment. There will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, and has a bigger house with a better car. So we have to go back to the drawing board to teaching how to be happy with what you have.
I give to MERCY CORPS kids, because I know that we are very fortunate to born in USA. How long this will last, who knows?

Worry or Not?

If you stop worrying about things you can’t change, and there are tons of them, you'll begin to find your ability and frequency of happiness increases. I have found in moments of weakness, when worry creeps back in, if I get busy with helping others I can avoid it fairly easily. These ideas are not mine, but Buddha’s. Often tried by me, once I have heard the applicable teaching once or twice and made a bit firmer in meditation with concentration and reflection. My goal is lessen the irritation that is really low-level anger when we find fault in most everything we encounter. I am not trying to be humorless drone, and being so far from perfect, would be happy with 20% less dissatisfaction to things I don’t like. If I can accept things and just be neutral in feeling, instead of labeling as something I don’t like…I will easily see the happiness quotient increase.
So things I want to change become more of an intention for good, then a rejection of the bad. This actually has the benefit of expanding your world, instead being fenced in with the enormity of your dislikes. I would like to promote Lifestraw even through it is made of plastic, which in some poor countries is often burnt for disposal. Although it does not work on salt or chemically polluted water, it still is a valid and low cost way to save people’s lives. Many charities work hand in hand with Vestergaard Frandsen, the manufacturers of Lifestraw. For the $2 you spend on one coffee, you could help give one person clean drinking water for a year! That is how one could quickly jack up your happiness by putting yourself in another’s shoes. Especially for those less fortunate. My link to Mercy Corps in the upper right is just one of these charities.

Shoot High

Let’s celebrate this funny desire here to live beyond your means. Just about everyone around me has or wants to have a Mercedes, Porsche, BMW, etc. You know so many of these people cringe when the lease payment comes each month. Perhaps, they thought they were so smart borrowing on their house to buy one. Guess what? Just like fireworks, they all coming crashing down one day, if not financially…spiritually. Do these cars really make you happy, especially when someone backs into it or scratches it? I figure if you can afford it, you can buy it outright. But wouldn’t it be better to buy a nice used car and help poor people? I know it is a huge sacrifice to give up something you really want to help others. I will tell you when you get close to your death, you will be glad you did. Helping others will give you a real sense of purpose, next only to that, I suppose, of having your own child. I know this from experience, and drive an old car and help a poor family, so I am not talking out of silly habit. Plus, if you know me, I give gifts of donations in your name instead of gifts. That helps to lessen the non-stop garage sales for those that have everything they want. A few people, when they bought my birthday gift that I asked for, like a donation to a Mercy Corps, have actually told me they felt better. There is another one of my charities listed in my favorite sites, Street Friends. After seeing poor children, some with mine destroyed limbs, I knew I had to help. You can just send the amount you spend on two cups of coffee a week, and hardly change anything in your life. In turn you are able to help kids learn and have hope. Giving up the new car I know was a stretch, but I always shoot high.