Expanding Pleasant Experiences

I have been seeing a new friend who lives on the same street, a few doors down from where a previous partner of mine lived over 20 years ago. I find it pretty interesting in looking at his old place now when I go see her...it is so small. It for some reason always makes me laugh when I see it. This, mind you, is not because I was a little kid, all of 25. My memories of that place and the events that happened there have obviously expanded in the years that have passed. They were all happy, loving, youthful and silly and now many years later …still bring some joy when recalled. What arguments and petty disappointments that happened way back there and at that time are long forgotten. It is no surprise that although we are not partners now, we enjoy a good friendship to this day. It could be because of our intent back then, that remained to this day...they outshined any bad moments. So my memory enlarged the house and events in mind in the years that passed, I guess because it wasn’t contained… it expanded. If it had been a bad experience it would have been painful and concentrated in a tight mind. Recalling painful experiences one often finds the same or concentrated repeats of the anger and hurt. You can't lose sleep over things that are no longer happening and have passed… which seems totally foolish if you really think about it. I am reminding myself to create the experiences I want to relive and enjoy again. If I can limit any anger I have now, it will allow pleasant feelings to rise with greater frequency. I am all for enjoying the lightness of being that I am capable of, so it will naturally lead me to concentrating my mind in love and compassion. Some foresight with my actions would be much better...a reminder.

Worry or Not?

If you stop worrying about things you can’t change, and there are tons of them, you'll begin to find your ability and frequency of happiness increases. I have found in moments of weakness, when worry creeps back in, if I get busy with helping others I can avoid it fairly easily. These ideas are not mine, but Buddha’s. Often tried by me, once I have heard the applicable teaching once or twice and made a bit firmer in meditation with concentration and reflection. My goal is lessen the irritation that is really low-level anger when we find fault in most everything we encounter. I am not trying to be humorless drone, and being so far from perfect, would be happy with 20% less dissatisfaction to things I don’t like. If I can accept things and just be neutral in feeling, instead of labeling as something I don’t like…I will easily see the happiness quotient increase.
So things I want to change become more of an intention for good, then a rejection of the bad. This actually has the benefit of expanding your world, instead being fenced in with the enormity of your dislikes. I would like to promote Lifestraw even through it is made of plastic, which in some poor countries is often burnt for disposal. Although it does not work on salt or chemically polluted water, it still is a valid and low cost way to save people’s lives. Many charities work hand in hand with Vestergaard Frandsen, the manufacturers of Lifestraw. For the $2 you spend on one coffee, you could help give one person clean drinking water for a year! That is how one could quickly jack up your happiness by putting yourself in another’s shoes. Especially for those less fortunate. My link to Mercy Corps in the upper right is just one of these charities.

Blowing Away Impatience

I was away in Miami, busy with my sister and my nephew and unable to post with no spare time. I went with the idea of helping her while she worked by taking care of her son. I arrived a bit sick from the flight, catching a cold during a screwed up flight. I started out at the airport killing time meditating, so when the flight was cancelled and then postponed three and half hours, I calmly got up. Actually walked away in the opposite direction of the angry people in line for my flight waiting for answers. I walked to the next flight and did stand-by making it by hair let in through the closing doors at the last minute. I made it to my connection within three minutes, so I arrived on time as scheduled, just missing my luggage. I think if I were not so relaxed at the point where they announced the huge delay after an extra hour of waiting I would not have made a smart quick decision that day. That is what concentration does for you, avoiding the pitfalls of anger. So I got my luggage the following night, but I got there on schedule and just in time for a tropical storm! So my sister got two more days off, when schools were cancelled. This gave us more time to talk and do things together and me to assess what I could do for her and her house while not busy with them. I painted, trimmed trees, and did miscellaneous repairs to make her life easier. It was sometimes daunting because I never felt great, but I maintained an intention to do as much as I could before I left and keeping the complaints to a minimum. When I returned was treated to a loving thanks and the knowledge that we had a good time although it was way too short. It is hard to be away from family, but as I get older I get better at making the best out of it when we do see each other. The more I have positive experience of mindfulness brought on with meditation the more it enforces the need for it on a regular basis.