Similar as Different

I revisited the interconnected idea of people while helping my Mom get her house ready for rent. Instead of letting me decide what to keep or give away, she spent a lot of time going through things she did not have will power to go through. Unable to weed things out she left 7 years ago when she remarried and moved away. Consequently this only heightened her anxiety and her ability to make sound rational decisions. So you might ask how this relates to the idea that we don’t operate in vacuum? Well, because we share the same gene pool. How she felt affects me and my ability to help her. She would buzz around unable to focus on one thing and it would only make it harder for me with a brain injury. She has never understood aphasia and how multiple inputs and chaos affects me. But I have to rise to the occasion, and have some understanding of her. We are connected. So I made sure I had eaten, and saw her late today bringing gifts of wine and treats to allow us all sit around and let go of the day. Things happen a lot of the time at their own rate. I can do things alone after she leaves, which for me is much easier. And so we ended this night acknowledging we as similar as different. And use what we have in common to brighten a dark day.

Closed and Sometimes Open Doors

I have been working with a nice client and with difficult family matters that keep me pretty pre-occupied. It came to me this weekend another example of when people expect you to react like they want you to. It is a pretty clear sign of brain damage if you trouble speaking, right? So one must keep in mind that in other areas you are affected: reading, comprehending, and rational thinking, as well. And with me, it is more pronounced when I don’t get enough sleep. I have to take a day off, every other day. I think that people would rather put this in as a character flaw, than real brain damage because it makes more sense to them as a non-brain injured person. The way I do things now is based on my inability to be understood in most instances. There are times I would rather not speak, because the work involved to make others understand when they don’t want to take the time. A lot of the time I can see on their face they do not want to hear anything from me.
Last night at a party, I was treated to my friend's mother thanking me for a being a positive influence on her son when he moved here over 20 years ago. She also thanked me for putting him up when his apartment caught fire. It was unexpected, as I have not seen her in quite a few years, so I was speechless in a good way. Later, I just stopped trying to talk at all when it became too loud, locking the door to my communication. That is when I left to walk home knowing this for me is a great patience lesson…letting it all go and smiling.