Why Did I?...an update.

Update on a blog post from late December. I was outside doing some clean up on some trees around my house. The female officer who responded to my call back then, to go back and look at the man I helped home, stopped by and said hello. She told me that they did go back to his apartment and admitted him to the hospital. She could not tell me any other details, because of privacy concerns. But she was able to communicate his well being and my contribution to it. I replied, I am glad and thank you. I knew that night when she came to my house that beneath the hard protective layer there was a heart of gold. Her male partner thought I was crazy, but she intervened and took off to his house after talking to me. There are so many good people in life that we only get a glimpse if we are lucky. That is why it important to not pre-judge others.

Not a Drunken Buddha

I have been shooting more with hopes of learning more while I am short of work. When I shoot something when I find it interesting, sometimes things I don’t really fancy I try to find the beauty. I want to take this over to my own life, as there are things that happen way beyond your control and you have to make the best of them. If you are wise you make do, and try not to dwell on the bad by making the positive shine greater. We do have the freedom to change how we see things, perhaps as a stepping stone, or even a learning experience. I do wish I had the financial freedom to help others more than I do. I have been thinking about how I might help young gays develop more positive attitude of themselves instead of getting into risky sexual behavior to find love. If one learns to love themself, they are less likely to make bad decisions. I do have both real good and bad decisions in my past to share with them, now it is just a matter of how to communicate with a disabled voice. I did help college age “kids” back before my injury with small controlled events to discuss the risk of AIDS. But now, will they listen? Or just focus on my weird speech? Meanwhile, I help people at the hospital. So I am not all talk.

Closed and Sometimes Open Doors

I have been working with a nice client and with difficult family matters that keep me pretty pre-occupied. It came to me this weekend another example of when people expect you to react like they want you to. It is a pretty clear sign of brain damage if you trouble speaking, right? So one must keep in mind that in other areas you are affected: reading, comprehending, and rational thinking, as well. And with me, it is more pronounced when I don’t get enough sleep. I have to take a day off, every other day. I think that people would rather put this in as a character flaw, than real brain damage because it makes more sense to them as a non-brain injured person. The way I do things now is based on my inability to be understood in most instances. There are times I would rather not speak, because the work involved to make others understand when they don’t want to take the time. A lot of the time I can see on their face they do not want to hear anything from me.
Last night at a party, I was treated to my friend's mother thanking me for a being a positive influence on her son when he moved here over 20 years ago. She also thanked me for putting him up when his apartment caught fire. It was unexpected, as I have not seen her in quite a few years, so I was speechless in a good way. Later, I just stopped trying to talk at all when it became too loud, locking the door to my communication. That is when I left to walk home knowing this for me is a great patience lesson…letting it all go and smiling.