05 August, 2007

Closed and Sometimes Open Doors

I have been working with a nice client and with difficult family matters that keep me pretty pre-occupied. It came to me this weekend another example of when people expect you to react like they want you to. It is a pretty clear sign of brain damage if you trouble speaking, right? So one must keep in mind that in other areas you are affected: reading, comprehending, and rational thinking, as well. And with me, it is more pronounced when I don’t get enough sleep. I have to take a day off, every other day. I think that people would rather put this in as a character flaw, than real brain damage because it makes more sense to them as a non-brain injured person. The way I do things now is based on my inability to be understood in most instances. There are times I would rather not speak, because the work involved to make others understand when they don’t want to take the time. A lot of the time I can see on their face they do not want to hear anything from me.
Last night at a party, I was treated to my friend's mother thanking me for a being a positive influence on her son when he moved here over 20 years ago. She also thanked me for putting him up when his apartment caught fire. It was unexpected, as I have not seen her in quite a few years, so I was speechless in a good way. Later, I just stopped trying to talk at all when it became too loud, locking the door to my communication. That is when I left to walk home knowing this for me is a great patience lesson…letting it all go and smiling.

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