A Liberated Mind?

In the pursuit of wisdom in the midst of a slight funk I was reading Buddhadasa Bhikkhu on Anapanasati Bhavana about seeing if the mind is stable(done in meditation). "Normally most common people have not been emancipated spiritually in so far as the mind is concerned, so how are we going to know what a liberated mind is like? The answer is to think of the reverse of the present troubled state of mind. For example(s), if at present the mind is full of worries, a liberated mind will be just the opposite—free from all worries, if the mind clings to happiness, a liberated mind clings to nothing, not even happiness; if the present mind is troubled, chaotic and full of suffering, a truly liberated mind will be free of troubles, peaceful and calm. This is the way to picture what a liberated mind is like."

Now, we all know you can implement this in daily life as the person who meditates is the exact same one who is out trying to make sense out of daily life. We can chose to let go of mental images that provoke dis-ease and start to introduce joy even under the most difficult situations. So, how do you see yourself?

Because I think this can be an entry point. Case in point, I like people to know that I have a brain injury, so they know why talking is difficult for me, but upon further examination no one can know your suffering or understand it, they have their own and are really engaged in their own. So, exactly why would they trade sides?

A Little Bit of Joy

“An event becomes an experience

only when I am emotionally interested.

I am in a state which is complete,

which seeks not to improve on itself.

Of what use is experience to me?”

— Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

10 Silent Minutes with Buddha

Can't fine the ideal time or the place to meditate?

Here you go, take 10 minutes. No surprises.

The Purpose of Samadhi

“So we see that it is most important to know about our self. How we came to be born, how we will be reborn, and when we sleep and dream what is the cause and condition for it. And again, when our thought flash here and there each moment, what it is all about.

Now that which flashes here and there in thought is called the ‘heart’. Before coming here, when still at home, your thought had already flashed here, is that not correct? And the next instant, did it not flash off to other things elsewhere? Now you are seated here, your thoughts flash back home, and elsewhere...

The purpose of is Samadhi to control these flashings of the ‘heart’. If we are able to control these flashings and keep the mind still, then he mind will attain to great power, to great utility, to great purity, and be able to achieve whatsoever the mind intends. The mind which is uncontrolled, flashing here and there, is a force which is being wasted in all directions, like a river flowing from the heights, which channelling off into streams and tributaries loses its original impetus and force. If this force were to be damned up, the power would be indeed great and could turn a great machine. So it is with the concentrated and controlled mind....”

— Teachings of

the Venerable Chao Khun Monkol-Thepmuni, Wat Pak Nam

When Wisdom Slips in the Back Door

I’ll pass this along in hopes that it helps someone else. My partner asked me to go running Monday, and we took a bus to the park and started. Shortly, he was fast ahead of me and I was running alone. I knew he had a goal in mind, but then my “I” started to feel left out. Annoyance crept in while running, I said in my head, “Why ask me to go running with you and then take off, what is the point?” The annoyance stewed into a bit more working its way toward anger. Yes, I will say it to him when we meet at the stretching bars area. So, since I had quite a bit to go, I ran it though my head, I’ll just tell him, I am going home there is no point in me being here. When I said the ‘me’ part, something sounded wrong. Then I thought that any confrontation, or showing my displeasure will throw a wrench into his happiness and bounce back on me. Obviously, this is what he wants to do right now, and again he rarely, if ever does things with any intention to hurt me. He is just setting high goals for himself that’s all, and hey, guess what? I get to enjoy his hard work, too.

I ran my course, got some water, and in effect let my annoyance go by looking at I really want. We met at the bars, and in a short time he and I were done stretching, and we walked back happily and I never said a thing. I was not just keeping a lid on it, I, instead fully examined my anger and let go of the “me” quotient. We walked to get dinner items with joy and then he bought me a sports drink. When home, he prepared dinner and laid it out, no questions. He was tired and happy. After dinner he gave me a kiss and laid his head in my still sweaty lap. He was showing his appreciation for me, and I gave him a kiss and said, “Let me shower, Na!”


The following day we went running in the park again, and without a blink… he ran only at my pace, sometimes inspiring me to run faster. This was all done without me saying what I wanted the previous day. I told him thanks, and he said, “I will run one lap with you and then workout and let you run a bit further.” By the time I ran my share and got to the bars he was ready to go, with ease and great timing. We arrived home again and I said you go shower I’ll prepare dinner, and I did laundry. He was very thankful I did it all, he had a hard day at work. Two days of bliss that I would have missed if I started my Monday with a needy demand. I felt so lucky to have some wisdom come to me during my cool down. Or perhaps it was my own words from when in the past, I've said, “I really want to make his life easier,” slipped in the back door to greet me with open arms.

Moving out of Body: a quick trip.

Seeing an overseas Dr. is always is a gamble, but here I was in his office discussing “our” non-surgical approach. I relaxed immediately, sensing a caring soul who saw my point. He assessed with pressure and movement where exactly my problem lie. Shortly, after an in depth conversation he had me lie down to do deep needle therapy on my shoulder joint. My guess is it brings blood flow to the joint capsule, thus helping to heal the muscles that are inflamed that attach. Of course a few times he hit right on target, but since these are acupuncture needles they rarely hurt. I was relaxed with the trust I had in this stranger, and I left my body! It wasn’t a quick nap, as I was conscious nor a pain response because it was not that painful. When he asked how I am is very particular way, I think that he sensed I was not in the room, then I came back into my body. The only way I know this is from my near death experience and some rare instances in meditation. I was pleasantly shocked and wanted to talk to him right then about it and we finished up the needles I let it go. I left after making a follow-up physical therapy appointment.


Later that day, in the evening while in bed, I came to realize that my partner is enlightened. A new revelation based on the way he deals with me. Knowing that my nature tries to figure out the best by exploring every option, like for instance, finding a condo this trip that is good for him and me. His nature is never to get too excited about any one thing. So, when I continued to look for a better place thinking he wasn’t too impressed about this place, more like matter of fact, he just stood back and did not argue. He is very aware after 10 years together, it is my nature. There was not a need to make this into any disagreement, and it moved smoothly into me agreeing and settling here. All this was not a subtle power play, it was his innate intelligence or perhaps our previous life connection, as I had found the place in the first place. He has some qualities of enlightenment from knowing how people are. I am probably not explaining this well, but it did give even more appreciation for his being. How this ties into my out of body experience you might ask? It is that once we lose our body consciousness we naturally move towards compassion. Finding out... we are the other.

Rowing Quietly Upstream

This came to me like an old 40w incandescent bulb. My partner is staying away this weekend because he is sick and he doesn’t want to infect me. I tell him it’s up to him, and said, "I don’t care if I have to take care of you like this." But like always, when he makes up his mind it is written in stone.

I feel I most likely die when I feel my partner is OK in life. Not that it will be a firm date, or even really planned... I'll just turn the boat around and join the rest of us. Nor does the OK state have some kind of qualifiers. I will pass much like my mother will pass once she feels we are all OK(I have a schizophrenic sister that is having a hard time). If look at where I am now, and what I have become. I probably won’t “be” anything but pure love, in most instances to my partner. I am constantly reminded that he is own person, lives his life with or without me. Not in a callus way, is still in a loving and appreciative of the impact I have made on his life. He rarely asks for anything, and most all of what I have contributed to make his life easier was done on my part out of love. I don’t want him to owe me anything, and I think all this came out of my near death. A force that propelled me to fight to live, leaving me to believe that there was a bigger picture I needed to address.


That to be in the world, or to more importantly to live in this world someone had to love you, like your mother, or father… in order for you to survive. My partner was raised by some village elders unrelated that acted like grandparents to him in his case. He feels indebted to his "grandmother" who had passed just before we met, I did meet his grandfather on two visits to his home and have a great picture of the two them. I will venture to say that is grandmother passed him on to me, and he was the closet to her and it shook him when she died. It was a miracle we met but we did so, just as soon as he got over the grief.

My survival from my hospital nightmare also had a love factor involved, my family, ex-partner and nurses made it all possible. So the best thing to come out of this freaky experience is the fact that I will be known for attempting to show love, above anything else I am, do or was capable of. I don’t need to “be” anything, but what I am right now, of course, with some improvement.