Walking through Bangkok's Chinatown one morning, I came upon a trash pile, and in it was an old Spirit house from some shophouses being remodeled nearby. Usually they take to the country near a tree to dispose of. Obviously whoever put it in the trash was not related to the family who last owned it. I photographed it, and started to walk away, and came back thinking to myself this is an old one and has some charm. Perhaps, I can sell it. Walking to a nearby store to quickly buy a bamboo brush to clean it up, came back and pulled it aside for the trash heap so I could brush it down. Just in time because the trash truck drove up, and the two men saw me cleaning it off and gave me thumbs up, and one even said it is about 100 years old. I was beginning to feel lucky, the closer I looked at it. Surely at home this would sell for a lot, but here no one would buy it. When done with cleaning it up, I walked it down a street to get a taxi home. The driver even said it is good find. I got it home, took into the shower area and wiped it down fully. I brought it into the room and set it in a corner.
Later my partner came home, and upon seeing it, he bugged out, and said it can't stay here in the room. His upbringing dictated that the old spirits of the family would come here into our room. And ghosts are about the only thing he is scared of, that and angry people. Of course, my first internal reaction was don't push me into believing what you believe. It is a nice piece and I want to sell it. But he was throwing a fit like I have never seen. I told him to go run, and I will figure something out. It was becoming a new test for me. I asked the manager of our apartment to allow me to store in their storage place, and when he came home from his run it was gone. My partner never asked about it, but he was relieved. I put in online to sell, and see what came out of it, but I was beginning to think of it as a test. What is more important how I see the world or adapting totally? I was putting on the line over this by being as stubborn as he was about it.
What if the spirits came and affected our relationship? What would be the worse outcome? Was I putting things over people, and if so, it would inevitably come back to bite me hard. My partner is not about money, and has made this clear numerous times. If I am putting money ahead of his feelings, I am really screwing up. I left it to sit in storage a bit longer.
It never sold, and today was the day to free the spirits out of their temporary room to outside near a tree. Where they move about with ease, and perhaps climb the tree. I carried it out on this beautiful sunny day and found a nice spot for it. Where it can rest undisturbed. Then walking to buy joss stick, candles, and flower garlands for it. I found the two elephants buried nearby and pulled them out to guard it. I lighted the incense and said my apologies to the spirits. I am very lucky to have someone care enough to let the whole thing go, even though it was so disrupting to the way he was taught. It scared the crap out of him, and I did not make fun at the time, give me some credit. How silly can I be to think that I know better, when I could have asked him what do with it, when he first saw it? Still learning that the things we think we feel lucky to find, are often not the obvious thing we already have in our hand. Yep, thinking happiness lies outside of us bit me, again.
I was
climbing halfway up the Mahazedi stupa and looking up I can see smiling kids running around
just under the Bell shaped rim. I start to engage the kids, then I heard a young man above them say, “You
look like a woman.” He was perched up high looking down at me. I didn’t respond, did not look him the eye, plus I never
let in stop me in my tracks. I figured out he was with the older group who
pimped the smaller kids to charm the tourists out of money climbing the stupa in Bago. It was just a straight man’s call of dominance where I
guess he felt some weakness. He had no intention to escalate his hatred. Hanging
out on a stupa with a good view makes sense, but not when one figures out the
real motive. Reaching the top of the stairs I look to the right and see a monk
meditating while facing the stupa, and I continue to engage the younger boys,
and look around while enjoying the view especially of the huge reclining Buddha
looking very rested in the green in the distance.
This hole also included the separation I feel by still not able to communicate well in spite of all the work I have done to date. As the sun set on the way home in the cab, I fell asleep exhausted from trying to ignore the words earlier. When I awoke, the driver and I discussed getting some Indian food, and he would not join me, because he had to eat with his wife when he got home. I offered to be dropped off to eat, but he insisted on waiting... to take me back to the hotel. A kind and generous man who I will hire again when I return with my partner. He drove me to a good place that served fast, and I hurriedly woofed it down so he could get home faster. I still felt enough energy to walk after a quick shower and go shoot scenes that night(some you see here), ending with a rickshaw ride home by a handsome Burmese who patiently waited for me to finish a conversation I had with a local, by looking in my direction, to insure he had one last fare for the evening.
