Surprise Ending

Our Buddhist Meeting is at a large church because you know that they have lots of space. Tonight, I am finishing up my last immediate meditation class, and hoping to snag a happy face sticker(kidding). We have some great talks among us in this small class. And it is beginning to feel like a real sangha. We have covered the The Four Brahma Viharas:
1. Metta: loving kindness
2. Karuna: compassion
3. Mudita: sympathetic joy
4. Upekkha: equanimity. We are going overtime talking about our experiences with equanimity cutting into our usual 40-minute meditation. Finally breaking to meditate in this different room than we meet in normally, as there is another meeting/seminar taking over much of the space. The eight of us with the teacher settle on our mats or chairs, and close our eyes. It wasn’t even one minute into it a guy in the hallway from the other group bursts out in a hilarious cackle. A hallway posted with meditation class in progress—please be quiet. Once, would be fine, but obviously he talking to a few others and it continues in developing bursts of sillyness. It is so unique that it tickles you rather than annoy you. We continue our meditation each of us fiercely trying not to keep from joining him in laughter, because his is so contagious. That is, until we simultaneously all burst out laughing with tears flowing and red faces. What a funny way to end an interesting class with real Mudita. I thought about how laughter is as contagious as anger. To meet laugher with laugher is a hell of lot more fun than to meet anger with anger. The man’s laughter was similar to this one.

Reflecting on Conditions

While I am busy, often alone, I am usually deep in thought. Then to top it all off, my computer would not restart. Long, story short, I got it fixed, and I used my Buddhist teachings on patience to force myself to at least pretend that I am calm. A shift in awareness of how we react to problems we encounter. We will never be free from problems, only free from how we perceive them. I acted patient and understanding all while thinking in my head I could be disaster to lose most of my photos and work. Waiting for almost four hours with no appointment. It made the whole process better, and in fact, the man at the Apple store were nice enough to do it free. I made sure I thanked him personally at least twice directly.
I was reflecting on the fact that I lived in an accepting society I would be a bit better off and even more successful. While growing up gay, I would have been less likely to have spent 10 plus years trying to undo the pain I endured in school and adolescence. I felt deep down that I was less than everyone else and it played on who I was at that time. I would have more able to focus on my future and plan even better if I did not get challenged about who I am. This might even sound bitter, but we have to take what we are given and run with it. I have made the best out of extraordinary conditions from being gay to now being disabled. I have learned from my mistakes, and have made the effort to make others lives being gay easier through protest and awareness so that now there is far more acceptance. Having now turned to helping others who are in a similar state whether being poor or disenfranchised, I now feel lucky. I still look at my life with reflection and with an end goal of making the difference and feeling like I contributed to a kinder world.

Peace is at your Sit Bones

Yesterday, my Teacher at temple asked the people there, during a teaching “When were you the most happiest? Has it been in the past or are you working towards that day? The entire class was mute unable to answer or were hard at thought. She continues, "To be quite honest if it hasn’t happened by now, good chances it will never happen." And that with our high tech advantages, health care, cars, computers and toys…we Americans are no closer to happiness. In fact, there a lot more people on anti-depressants than every before; totally stressed out and multi-tasking in a pool of confusion. We have to calm our mind down, accept change, and you can only do this by meditating. I have heard this teaching before but not said in this manner, and it just helped to reinforce my need to keep on this path of learning Buddha’s teachings and meditate daily. I have seen such a huge change already being happier and less apt to gravitate to anger when things don’t go my way. So often they don't go our way, yet we try to arrange our day thinking we can avoid problems, funny, eh? We know we have this on-going dialogue in our head moving at a high rate of speed. Most of time pre-occupied with critiquing others and dissatisfaction with life. Just quiet this down by meditating is a great start, and happiness will follow. Many people make excuses why they can’t do it, without ever practicing, because that is really what it takes. No one is great at anything first try. All you have to do is ask yourself is... are the same old ways of looking for happiness outside of myself working?