Avoid Being a Grumpy Old Man

Throwing down my arms, I settle into a patient stance when all hell breaks loose. A real ho-hum, whatever, look and feel, as if there is no other way to be…grudgingly. But no, really having patience is not—not putting up with it. It is an active mind constantly reviewing past mistakes and upsets to reform your reaction in a sensible way. A way to look beyond the ‘crisis’ moment to how you want to see yourself and the outcome after all the smoke clears. This is a mature and wise way to be. Surely you have met people in your life, and end up saying to them, “You are so patient, I could not do that!” You marvel at how things roll off their back, but never realizing all the while that this is an active choice to be wiser. It is foolish to think that we can arrange our whole life to be free of problems. In a brief ‘light bulb’ moment, I know that there is many more things that I will encounter without patient acceptance they can possibly destroy me or my spirit. So the more I work on the practice of patience, actively choosing to remain calm and level headed, the better. Then as the body slowly wears out it will be less of a shock, hopefully saving me from becoming a grumpy old man. It will allow me to reflect on the times I don’t and compare with times I did. I know one good instance where a careless truck hit my house and caused some damage. I remained calm throughout, never getting angry, even when I had to do all the work to get the funds from the driver’s company, including going there with photos on two occasions. The end product was cash in hand, having it repaired myself, the way I really wanted. All without stressing my body, which would actually hasten my departure. A few times I have reflected on this, when I get mad over silly things and remind myself, practice. And it starts here with patience with yourself.

A Lot More Than Fallen Arches

Well, a famously photographed arch fell in Utah. Big deal, time marches on. I can tell you a lot more has fallen than my arches in the time I have been alive and photographed.
I have noticed more people in the US have that obsessive-compulsive disorder of not being able to throw out stuff. They end up with rooms of things they will never use clinging on to them in hopes that the memories contained within will keep them alive.
This is not even addressing the need to buy and have more things as an exercise. But only in futility. While you out buying more things, people are living in this world without the basic necessities of life like food and water. Not to mention housing and healthcare. So let’s put a little effort into thinking about our own passing and help others around you instead of leaving them a mess to clean up. And a big dumpster bill. That is a start. (photo thanks to Arches National Park)

Working From the Inside Out

I am trying to weed myself off the news, and not because I don’t care. It is more like there will always be bad things happening with a few good things. It brought to light that the world will continue without us …whether we get out raged or not. This is not a defeatist attitude, is just seems real looking at this big huge world. Now, this is coming from someone who has been active in trying to instrument change for about 30 years. After I noticed that when a famous person dies, that it is noted for a day or two. But after that, everything surrounding that person’s importance falls by the wayside, it appears. The world, in my view, will not bat an eye when we are gone. This does not mean that we should not have moral discipline. If we don’t think before we act we actually jeopardize our future happiness... while we are here. This sound is very self-serving but if we create the world in which we live, even though it is smaller than we first thought, we will be happier. Within our little world if we stop lying, watch our speech, being kinder to strangers and friends we start to work on the world we really want to exist in. It turns out to be within our grasp, even if we start, at first, with an intention. So, when we no longer exist, the people in our ‘world' will be the ones to carry memories of us around with them. If we leave behind us a positive ‘wake,’ then we are much more likely to inspire continuing good will and actions among those close to us. This will, in turn, create the world we really wanted working from inside out. My idea, real reincarnation are the positive memories that we leave with those around that love us.

Waiting for the Right Time

It would be good if we could wait for things so casually. Hopefully, with a relaxed attitude we can accept each moment as it comes. This does not disturb our desires and goals, but allows free passage when the time is right. Meditation helps one to see where the mind travels quickly to what we like and dislike, running over our built-in relaxed peacefulness that rests dormant inside. I often will begin a meditation, with mind in hyper-mode of multiple thoughts jumping quickly one to the next. I first start to notice what I am doing. Next try to bring my focus to the breath, then sometimes sidetrack into another silly thought. If it becomes clear I am not focusing solely on breathing and just being in the moment I change the tactics. Instead of getting angry at myself, I just to make it my intention to change it each time to bring it back to the breath. If I still find it difficult, which happens when I have coffee or something is really bothering me. Then I will change my focus on wishing people in my life to be free from suffering, and envision myself taking their suffering away pulling it towards me like imaginary dark smoke. This works well with Type A people, which I am. You know we got to be busy! Propelling my thought train onto a positive track which leads my mind on a much more relaxed ride. Often times leading me back to my breathing naturally.

The Soft Sell of Botox

I think we are doing a horrible disservice to our young people, by not teaching them about death. It’s mainly a problem in the USA, and not elsewhere. This would entail, showing them the aging process, and maybe a trip to an old folks home. It would be important to show them how beautiful and young they were in their 20’s, to compare to their present state. Combine that teaching with the idea if we age, then we need to save for aging, and not for botox. Years ago my own dermatologist said that botox will make the muscles slowly cease to function and your skin will smooth out. Nope, I actually bought him more time to sell more to me. What you see walking out, is quickly erased in less than two months. Like any junkie you are back for more. I wish I had the money I spent on it back then.

Now, I am paying a hell of price, sitting here with brain damage caused by my pursuit of a flat stomach. Elective surgery is just that, you elect to risk your life all for what? Sure, I got a flat tummy(then) as a side dish, but also a coma and bi-lateral strokes as my main course. No matter how I rationalize this, it was still a foolish move, and I have paid tremendously. Fast forward to now, I have tried as best as I can to turn this around. To learn from my mistake. So what does a wise man faced with extraordinary circumstances do? Become wiser( I would like to say, Become extraordinarily wise!) But that will come later. This came to me, perhaps I should tell my story to ladies or gay clubs? And the sooner you find a partner who accepts you as you are, and is conciously aware of the aging process ...the better. Read my earlier posts below to see I have moved beyond this.

A Smile Always Works

loosely translated:
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or root it... Piss on it and walk away! 

Quiet! I'm talking about others.

I wanted to let you all know that even if my posts might sound too serious, it does not mean that I am an angry bore. I have fun with friends, helping them, joking about life's foibles. We occasionally talk and go on about life over wine. What I write about is my take on life and to have a good intention to be a better and happier person. There is still a funny bone contained in my body, and I even pulled it out to enable me to heal faster ...laughing at myself.

My next thought is about the very American way of talking about others to paint a funny picture. This enables us to feel better about our self. We are each are different people, so how could we ever compare? Each person has a unique history and family, full of odd characters and small tragedies. So then why do we feel so bad about our self, why do we even bother with poor self-image? Perhaps because of advertising, or peer pressure or just ennui. I am very guilty of this, and while recently hearing friends or family talking like this made me want to be more aware. It does not make one more interesting to talk of others, instead it almost better to talk of ideas and passions. So changing this, will help me to become a more interesting and less sarcastic person. As a son of a sarcastic father this will take some doing.