A Smile Always Works

loosely translated:
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or root it... Piss on it and walk away! 

Quiet! I'm talking about others.

I wanted to let you all know that even if my posts might sound too serious, it does not mean that I am an angry bore. I have fun with friends, helping them, joking about life's foibles. We occasionally talk and go on about life over wine. What I write about is my take on life and to have a good intention to be a better and happier person. There is still a funny bone contained in my body, and I even pulled it out to enable me to heal faster ...laughing at myself.

My next thought is about the very American way of talking about others to paint a funny picture. This enables us to feel better about our self. We are each are different people, so how could we ever compare? Each person has a unique history and family, full of odd characters and small tragedies. So then why do we feel so bad about our self, why do we even bother with poor self-image? Perhaps because of advertising, or peer pressure or just ennui. I am very guilty of this, and while recently hearing friends or family talking like this made me want to be more aware. It does not make one more interesting to talk of others, instead it almost better to talk of ideas and passions. So changing this, will help me to become a more interesting and less sarcastic person. As a son of a sarcastic father this will take some doing.

The World Does Not Stand Still

Often you think you have the right answer to help someone or shed some light. But more often, others do not align themselves to your individual progress or wisdom. I find it difficult, but know it is best in most circumstances to just be quiet, instead of “helpful” when it is not wanted or does not seen to be the right time. It is energy not wasted, it is way better spent on those that ask honestly or just need some help. The world does stand still for us, ever evolving… with each on their own path. Paths cross when two people happen see the commonality we all share.

That ours is a life of suffering, from minor inconveniences like sore feet to our individual expiration date. It happens that we die alone, regardless of how the movies show it. We know this deep down and avoid this realization, and continue to hurt people in our quest to think we are better. Wise friends will show up or call when I need them, offering their ideas only when prompted. Can I be as wise to others? A few times I have and been told so. But I feel it was the natural thing to do. Could it be that wisdom and compassion exists in us untapped? Do we have to suffer to understand kindness? My idea is to take suffering and transform it into Buddhist wisdom.

Adopt to Give a Better Life

I spoke with my partner about possibly setting a time frame to move to Thailand. He said when we live together we will take his immature sister’s twin boys to take care of them. This is so we can make sure they do well in school and have a better future than she would have provided. They were an ‘accident,’ and I have known about them since before they were born. I carried them when little, so they know me as grandpa farang. If they stay in their home village they end up being laborers with less schooling. There are few roll models around that push school. At times I have helped with money for their school at times. But since my partner is not there making sure they are diligent, their future is less than rosy. I also worry about them since their Father is out the picture, and their Mom is often in Sweden with new husband…leaving them with grandma. My mother-in-law knows I love her son, and trusts us with the twins and can rule over any concern her daughter has. One thing nice about having to do most of the care of the two boys, Grandma reigns.

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

The problem with coming back after a great time with my partner, is that home becomes a lot less like home. You are such in a fog of jet lag and delirious behavior that you can’t really focus. I flew out again after four days to see family after quickly doing all my bills. I do marvel at the fact that super shuttle has shown me more of my city, that I would not normally see. The return trips are even more a mad hatters ride of non-sense. They logged in my zip code(to make me feel that they got this under control), 15 minutes later told me which van to get on, and sure enough I went downtown with tourists far from my home. So, I decided to ask the driver once they all got out, if he could stop by an ATM to pay him. I even toyed with the idea of asking him, if he wanted to stop for a drink. But he looked as happy as I was and I nixed the idea. Since we drove way across town with me alone, effectively canceling any time savings I would have by not walking home from the airport. It never makes sense when my house is the closest to the airport freeway, and normally I would be first in, first out. So, I took this as yet another lesson in patience and put on the ipod.

Time for Reflection

"All that is subject to arising is subject to ceasing." Buddha

If there is one thing that could help you in life... it is this realization. I am working on it.