27 August, 2012

Introduce Enthusiasm when Difficulties Arise

dedicated to Moher, who with her humorous style —
laughed all the way until she passed last May
We know that we learn the most from our difficult times, and there is a huge storehouse of them just waiting around the next corner, so why act surprised all time when they do appear? It is a chance to use some aspect of experience and wisdom that we have gained.  Humor may not result until we are over the shock of the discovery that things are not the way they are “supposed to be.”  Let’s try to introduce some enthusiasm about the unknown, instead making that psychological connection to our death immediately? When we put an old pair of shoes, or nice comfy bathrobe there is some familiarly with them and we relax. If we can relax like that when the body has pain, or when you have too much to get done today, the subtle signal will introduce some ease. The feeling can come out of the understanding of the fear only and may later appear warm. It will then blossom into enthusiasm and maybe humor later when you realize the main problem is how you try to push it all away like a child. Have we not grown up?  Our teenager response of approaching this with the “grin and bear it” model, because your body knows bullshit well, and will slap you silly. We just don't know what is next despite all our plans to the contrary and that alone in humorous. You have made it this far, gather up some of your innate wisdom and lay on the table. GAME ON!

This was sparked by the enthusiasm of my partner last night on Skype, knowing we can be with each other again soon and just enjoy some morning coffee before his work. He has been patient will our separation and my disability, looking beyond current difficulties to the bigger picture.

Seen on Bentinho Massaro's T-shirt:
"I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death."

23 August, 2012

What We Are

When Laughter is the Only Thing Reasonable

I was crazy with how the mind wants to figure it all out and pack, just before I leave home to see my partner. Separated by laws, legal definitions and a huge ocean, but not commitment and love. I biked to yoga, and in the parking garage where I lock up, I saw a man in his car. The car was running in the garage, and the exhaust was pointed right at the attendant at his desk in less than 5 feet away. I looked at the driver and motioned to turn it off, while locking up. He chose to ignore me, so when I finished, I went to the car, and he rolled down his window, and having ear phones on and talking on the phone, he pretended not to hear me or understand. It is funny when people play dumb, even when you point at the man trying to breathe and motion to make it clear, they tend to get more defensive. Taking off his earphones finally, he called me, "Nosey!" as I became the problem. I talked with the guard when I returned and the man apologized to him, and he said thank you to me.
Here is a little laughter exercise to clear out the carbon monoxide in your brain.

11 August, 2012

Rushing into Being

I know when I start to spin on all I need to do, and I get less and less efficient. It is time to get back into my body. So, when a friend agreed to go to the country for a drive I suggested the night before, I leap at it the opportunity, dropping everything for the day. I immediately felt relief with this distraction to breathe some more space into life. I really needed to sit with myself in nature as opposed to in my house, which will soon not be, and just see what was coming up. I know deep down one never gets it all done, and I am kind of waiting for that big sign that this is it and I can finally just rock with it. We drove to an area not far from us, but one he had never been to. I could experience his relief upon seeing beauty that he forgot was out there when one gets so trapped in their thoughts. We drove for quite a while to an unused park in the middle of nowhere and I just settled in for an hour of meditation and silence, knowing that a nap would just be escapist. With birds and a rabbit around, and a warm wind blowing to cool the psyche it was easy to sit with myself. I laughed, because the area which I have liked for years, now seems like it wants me here and now my mind wants to figure out how to have a piece of it.
Find some stability in a world and life that never has any. Sensual pleasures do have their hook, but it is about avoiding what is currently present in the mind. After my hour meditation I talked with my friend about the fact that whenever I get so involved in life, spinning and being busy the more I lean towards meditation and the wisdom that comes from it. It is not the answer, I am the answer.

02 August, 2012

Act Like How You Want to Feel

For the longest time, I used to think that positive upbeat people were the product of good parenting, extra cash, or born on the right day. What was I missing? Whatever it was, I did not have it. Looking in all the wrong places for so many years, and it was right in front of me. Just look in the mirror and smile ....taking yourself too seriously puts off a negative vibe. I thought that I had a great excuse why not, since I've had two strokes leaving me with facial weakness and numbness. Bullshit! Even smiling with a kooky, crooked smile is infectious and immediately relaxes others and they will laugh with you....and not at you. Give it up and go over to a mirror and smile, we are all soon dead and it is so hard to smile with a mouthful of dirt.

A by-product of relaxing the self, is one carries less tension in their body. Today in yoga class, I smiled at myself(not out of pride) and whenever I slipped from a pose laughed. After class finished, a woman came up to me who is constantly negative, smiling and said her new nickname for me is "rubber band man." That was a change for her, so it helps others.
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