Unexpected Kindness In Bagan

** double click on photos to enlarge

I flew to Nyaung U, to start my journey in Bagan still sick and tired on the full moon day. Arrived with ease and went straight to the guest house, and curled up in fetal position waiting for the antibiotic to kill the bacteria. I was without food for two days and pretty weak…but in remarkably good spirits… knowing I had five days to explore instead of rushing. I had made up my mind to not rush everywhere and just feel it out. I slept from 9 am to 4pm, and rushed out on a bike to Ananda Temple where the full-moon celebration was in full swing….all I had to is follow the Pali chants to its location. Buddha’s in the four directions in its interior and with monks and lay people in the courtyard chanting and meditating. It was my original plan to join them, but there was too much to see.

Around one side was a carnival and vendors selling everything from food to housewares, and bamboo mats. It was here that the ‘photo vultures’ were out in full force. I would watch tourists with their long digital lens stick them right up to a Burmese monk and shoot him without asking, and it was so invasive it almost made me abandon my cheap Samsung pocket camera all together. I had bought some mandarin oranges to eat, and shooting this lonely merry-go-round I began to feel sorry for the husband

and wife owners. No one was interested in having their kid ride, I think it was more about the cost as people in surrounding area are not able to afford. It was like 300kyat to ride the Ferris Wheel that had no engine. They just used the weight of the boys to awing it. Going up to them after shooting and giving them each two oranges, they were appreciative. Nearby was a tattoo stall with chairs in front working on a boys back who was obviously in pain. Then after watching the Myanmar singing and dancing show, I walked along the road out that lead to the temple, past the coat vendors to my bike that was parked in a motorcycle lot for a fee.

A young man sitting in a bamboo chair started talking, anxious about using his English, shoke my hand and said, “Your hands are cold!”, I returned with, “but a warm heart.” It was a cold night and all I had on was a light coat. This was enough to start our conversation and out of curiosity he asked about the length of time I had there and what was I doing next. I said, “it’s the full moon and I am torn between sitting at temple or seeing more.” He offered to take me, by bicycle to a near-by temple and go up to the roof. “My cousin’s family are keyholder’s of this temple.” I said, “cool, of course I’ll go.’ Bicycling in the dark we went down the paved road and turned off on a dirt road, with him pointing a flashlight behind him on the ground. We got to a bamboo hut behind the temples and we parked our bikes while he went inside to get the key. This was exciting, and I was charmed with his hospitality, there was no feeling that he was out for anything more. Climbing a darked, locked, tiny stairwell to the top of this pagoda. He said we can sit in between the low wall and relax, “I am in no rush and it is up to you when we go down. If you are happy, we are happy!” Ananda’s lights were on, with the monk chanting in the distance under the full moon brightness… it was enchanting. I was in heaven, and it was hard not to say, “WOW!” Thinking I could die now. I shot a few more timed photographs, and on the way down shot the Buddha inside capturing the bat as you can see. The young man and I were talking about my plans for the following days and he offered to bicycle with me to show me temples. I think it was solely based on his opportunity to hear and speak English, and I apologized for my odd speech. He did not care and so we planned the following morning to meet me at my guest house at 8am, and I did not know his village was 7 or 8 km away. In the morning I asked the staff at the guest house, “How much does one pay a guide per day?” and they replied, 16,000kyat(about $20). So, I kept it in my mind, and got two waters for me and the young man and we took off seeing temples (both on and off the map) in a relaxed bike ride, and when the sun was hot. I treated him for lunch. In the late afternoon, we went to one large temple to shoot, arriving before everyone else and it was here that I notice the photo vultures were out in full force again, shooting the young man while I was taking his photo, it was so rude. It just made me put my camera away more and be a lot more sensitive to others.That evening we had dinner, and he so appreciative that it was very obvious he accompanied me with no other demands underlying, so when he left me at my guest house, I gave him the 16,000 kyat, saying, "That is for your work"….and he was shocked.

I said the next day off while I have a horse cart appointment, that I had booked before coming, and I’m sorry. It was interesting on the horse cart, but you can’t really cover as much area as a bike, and the guide was only marginally more knowledgeable than the young man with a lot less charm…it was business, and it lacked any passion. I did it solely to keep my word, looking forward to the following day to continue with the young man. In biking around I asked him about Mt. Popa, I had put my name out there if any tourists would like to share a ride there. I had a gut feeling it would not be as great as the time with the young man and I discussed my reservations, and he said some don’t like Mt. Popa, others do. He then told me he planned on having me over his family’s house for a full Burmese dinner in thanks for the money I gave him. I had mentioned my first day with him that I would like to pound down my Dad’s wedding and put the gold leaf on a Buddha in Bagan. I had worn it since his death in 1990, and I have resolved his death in the 22 years that past since. We talked about being able to find someone there to melt down and do it. But over dinner on our second day of bicycling I gave him photos I took of him on a disc, and my heart just told me to give the ring to him. I felt he was more important than a “dead Buddha” and he could sell it if he needs to. In my eyes he was a Buddha, and his calm, mindful presence could never be expressed enough by me. He was of course shocked, but gracious in his acceptance, saying you have given me two firsts in my life, the money and the ring. I told him, "I think reincarnation takes places in the hearts of other living people you touch, and you touched me."

My guest house told me they had two other people wanting to go to Mt Popa and I just went with this news in my efforts to let things naturally unfold. We took off at 8am with and older Israeli man, a English woman and a German couple who I bonded with. On the way up, I noticed vendors selling plants and spying a few roses, told the driver to stop on the way, down so I can buy one for his mother. Mt. Popa had some nice views, but for some strange reason did not feel as sacred, I guess because it was home to 37 Nats(spirits) and full of monkeys. I brought some nuts for them, throwing over the edge from the top to where they could eat them without disturbing people climbing the long stairs up.

I was back at the guest house at 4pm, with the rose plant for his mother, and he came with his brother on a borrowed motorcycle to take me to his house. Foreigners are not allowed to ride motorcycles in Bagan unless they have a license to drive. To keep them from injuries so, he put his arm up to cover my head as we drove past the police on the road. We drove to a dirt road by the temples and he had a buffalo cart waiting for me for the final ride to his village as a surprise. Riding in the back as the sun was setting among temples was magical. When we got to his village we stopped at his house, and his Mom had fixed a huge dinner, and they had decided to set it up in their nearby vegetable garden hut among pumpkins, greens and okra with candles in a bamboo shelter. They were going to have me eat first as a guest, but I asked my new friend to join me. His Mother and Father and an Aunt came by to make sure everything was Ok for me…laughing.

He spoke of his appendicitis caused by eating to many nuts and hard things that he had done last year when 18, in the course of talking to him over dinner. And they rarely eat more than two meals per day. We talked about my next visit perhaps in a year and it seemed so very far away. The money he had earned with me was given to his family, as they share in everything. He told me that they had a hard time 2 years ago, and their house is on a uncles land, but the garden plot was theirs. He had hopes of continuing college in electrical engineering, with tuition promised by a French tourist. By the discussion he seemed like he was headed in a good direction to help his family get out of making bamboo walls(father) and chopping trees for income(mother). There was a certain confidence he had in his situation that never seemed desperate. His family was curious and very relaxed with me, with a whole lot less of the formalities of the Thai’s. He asked about a $2 bill having only seen one once, I have none and that they are kind of rare in US, since they are not used. I said, "But, If I had one I would give it to you". He said he would pray for me on my birthday and asked for the date to write down. His mother had papaya and oranges to eat with tea for desert. It was time to say our good-byes and his mother took the remaining food for their family to eat, so that when we walked to his house they were eating my left-overs. I got a motorcycle ride back to the guest house and said thanks for everything. Saying, “I will send my family or friends to see you if they come, but I should be back in a year.” There was no sadness and we both felt that we will meet soon, and it was a nice ending to my time in Bagan.

Any kindness I have learned was most certainly learned. Dedicated to Sue who went out of her way to help me on this path, Sue died early this month. She lives on in my heart.

Act of Kindness Hazard

Yesterday, driving home from the Nun’s Vihara where we had a supporter’s meeting, I saw a novice monk waiting for the bus, and stopped my car and asked him if he would like a ride. It is right outside the temple along the park. He hesitated because he could not read my intention, so I immediately thought this is wrong, and thought about just leaving, but did not want to be rude and just turn on my heels. I was going along the same route on the way to another sit. When convinced I was O.K., the Thai monk got in and asked me to drive him to Golden Gate…not thinking it was the bridge…I drove him into the park, but he made it known that he was talking about the bridge. In further discussion, I got the sense that he is not a monk as a way to access wisdom, but more along the line that it was a free ticket. His speech and manner were questionable which tipped me off. I took him to the bridge, and had to leave fast to get across town in time for my sit. He wanted my cell number, which I reluctantly gave him, and then he asked me to drive him to San Jose today. It was asked in a very forward manner, so I was a bit bothered, because he obviously doesn’t know the time and cost. I did not give him a firm answer. I went to my sit and with the phone off, I got a text saying thank you and I hope you enjoy your meditation. But again, I thought this was a set-up. I was eating a late dinner having missed my lunch, and again got another text. The monk wanted to go in the morning. Arrgh! So, I texted him back that I will offer a drive to CalTrain and pay a one-way ticket for you instead. He finally said fine, and the whole time I was cursing myself when I felt it was out of line, based on my intuition. I thought about texting a lie that I could not make it, or calling him on his behavior, but did not. I thought I would use it for my practice of patience. This morning, just when I was going to leave to pick him up to go to the train, he texted me to say, “I won’t be going”. Now, I know the reputation of the head monk of the temple he was staying at and perhaps this may have come up with the two of them over breakfast. Or maybe the monk reviewed his reason for wanting to go to San Jose, or even the overstepping of my kindness, but regardless things happened to work out …as soon as I relaxed.

Some Kindness that Saved Me

I thought it would be nice to recall kindness, spurred on when a friend of mine is putting together a movie on it. Way back, when I had my brain damage and hospitalization nightmare, I was put in a local hospital connected with the Dr. who caused this trauma. My mother and family conferred that it would be a good idea to hire a day & night nurse because I was in such critical stage with an outcome that could easily be death and who knows what could happen. One wrong move, or forgetting to suction my lungs once could kill me. From what my Mom told me my sister found the nurses. The night nurse was an ex-Vietnam War nurse and he was an angel who inspired me everyday and got me to do a thumb’s up on my weak side for the first time when all the Dr.’s said at the time I would never be able to go home and survive. He talked to me like an adult, even joking to me, chastising me for being in this position.
That nurse would, at dawn, report everything I did with him, and give my mother much hope. At night, on breaks would go smoke cigarettes with my partner, at that time and my brother to fill them in ...in a relaxed manner while emotions were still high. His compassion shined through even though I was intubated and going in and out of consciousness. So I could not forget him nor could my family. My sister sent him a poem, and my mom wrote a Thank you. I wrote my first Thank you when I got home from the hospital after a month, which was very difficult because I still could barely read. He died less than a year after I got home, and our thank you’s found by his brother painted a beautiful picture of this nurse’s life. I still have the letter his brother wrote me, about finding the tributes. So if you are inspired by kindness submit a story to the film.

A Reminder of Other's Greatness

Today, I sat down in the park after buying a card for my sister, and I took my wallet out to not sit on it. Forgetting, I placed it beside my numb side, and thought I picked up with the card, but instead walked off leaving in the park. Not more than 2 minutes later I got a call on my cell phone by the man who found it. I rushed back to meet him, and he would take no money for it.

Thank you so much....you knew that the good deed or karma would come back to you. For you from me:
Translated from the end of the Twenty Eight Buddha's Protection (Atanatiya Paritta in Pali):

May all calamities be avoided, may all illness pass away,
May no dangers threaten you, may you be happy and long-lived,
Greeted kindly and welcome everywhere.
May four things accrue to you:
long life, beauty, bliss, and strength.




On Tuesday, we said our Good-byes to Ajahn Amaro when he left for Amaravati Monastery. Ajahn Anandabodhi of Aloka Vihara had the brilliant idea of throwing rose petals on him while chanting blessings. As well as cleaning up before we left the airport. I arrived early enough to meet him when he arrived in the garage with dark chocolate for his long flight. He saw me, and said to the others, "This is no random stranger, but a friend."

Right Now or Not

I know I often live for the future even if it is only an hour ahead of now. In may be brought about from being apart from my partner while he is doing his Masters. Perhaps, I think we are avoiding the pain of seeing what is right now at this very moment. I call it, the uneasiness of being me. When meditating I find it much easier to relax into acceptance. I am not going anywhere, becomes very real as soon as I fold my legs. But I am aware there are so many things I should be doing and am not that brings the unease right up front and center. I have heard in the past that whenever you hear the word should brought up…mindfulness is not present. But luckily for me with this should does not come with too much judgment, unless I find myself fixating on things and people I don’t like. I am slowly learning about myself. Today, I took the bull by the horns by doing good things for 3 others in my life… spontaneous, kind and not done to get attention, more to lessen the focus on me and my current mental state. It sure beats finding things wrong with others. Remembering that we plant the seeds of our rebirth in the minds of others. Right now and very present.

The Things We Lose

I have lost a few loves in my life, lost most of my retirement during the dot com crash, and lost my health and ability with my brain injury. Some things comes and go, like my health returned somewhat, with determination. Now it is apparent to me that this is natural part of life, and to stay on the path of wisdom, you have to roll with life’s punches and learn lessons...sometimes twice. Most certainly as you age you lose more and more abilities, so that by the time you retire you are just about shot! Every insurance companies and the federal government are not betting on your side. So, the path of wisdom is to prepare yourself mentally and this doesn’t mean digging your heels deeper and grabbing on tighter. In this losing process, you don’t have to lose your cool by learning to let go of one’s attachments to things. It is very much an ongoing lesson, so that when death comes, you will be that much more prepared and may even be able to slip into meditation as you pass.

Losing things does not have to be traumatic, it took a couple of days of coming to this conclusion when I lost money, to say, “Money is money, and money is not me!” And, I came to this 10 years ago proving I was on the road earlier than I thought. Perhaps, I knew deep down after surviving my near death that I am much more than the external things that seem to rule our lives. So this path is rediscovering the essence of who you really are. Looking around at what you have in your house that will soon be in someone else’s home or the trash, will help you know instinctually that you are not what you have, regardless of what advertising tells us. And whenever you feel a bit lost, or a bit sad go right outside of yourself and talk to a neighbor, friend or your partner and offer help, because the one thing you never lose is your kindness and connection with others. Your origination was from the kindness of your mother, because if she did not take care of you, you would not be reading this. So we started with kindness, and hopefully we end this fast trip with kindness for our self and others.

What Do We Get Out Of It?

While shopping today at a grocery store, I saw a women walking up just behind me going for a cart outside the store. I grabbed one for her and pushed it to her, before I got mine, even though I was there before her. She took it, with a small surprised look on her face, but still did not say thank you. I watched my mind at work. Did I do this only for a thank you, instead of being a good thing to do by thinking of others? How often do we do things expecting something in return? Even if it is for a simple Thank you, then we still are doing things with heavy dose of me in the equation. I am trying to mature and look at every motivation, not obsessively, just wisely. If I am to be looked to for wisdom… I had better figure this all out in every detail.

We are, in our core being; beautiful, kind and loving souls, and somehow in growing up, with a few disappointments we throw it all away. Just look at children, you can just see the natural beauty unspoiled at times. I walked out of my garage the other day, and I saw 5 kids and two mothers talking and walking towards me. The first thing a five year old boy said to me was, “Happy New Year!” I was surprised but also touched by his smile, joy and real honesty. It was evident looking at the whole troupe they were all adopted by the two Moms and we all very happy. Looking around someone had left a cool silver headdress high up on a light pole after New Years Eve, and asked the boy if he would like it. So I climbed up the pole and grabbed it and gave to him. The rest said, "Put it on your head", but it was larger than his head, so he put it around his neck and they took off laughing and saying thanks.