Do you ever find yourself with a friend, talking and then they start to text or call someone else? Making other plans. It would be tolerable if they excuse themselves before they do it. Or they appointment you for something like lunch, and call you at 2PM? I don’t care if there is a change of plans, but you owe the other person a simple text or phone call in advance. Unless, of course, you are in the hospital dying or something else. What about going ahead with a date, and you are too tired to give a damn about anything? Boy, that makes you feel like it was really worth it. That lets all the air out of any meeting. What happened to common courtesy? Just have the balls to say I am not up to it today, that is if you value others, otherwise this will happen to you. Life has a way of telling you this is not cool, by happening to you at another time, with someone who is far more important, to you, than me. I can take this, but have a stainless memory…and it will provide me with fuel to understand the potential for growth in a friendship. Or, not. Luckily, I won’t have to ponder next time.
18 July, 2009
Pondering the Death of Common Courtesy
Do you ever find yourself with a friend, talking and then they start to text or call someone else? Making other plans. It would be tolerable if they excuse themselves before they do it. Or they appointment you for something like lunch, and call you at 2PM? I don’t care if there is a change of plans, but you owe the other person a simple text or phone call in advance. Unless, of course, you are in the hospital dying or something else. What about going ahead with a date, and you are too tired to give a damn about anything? Boy, that makes you feel like it was really worth it. That lets all the air out of any meeting. What happened to common courtesy? Just have the balls to say I am not up to it today, that is if you value others, otherwise this will happen to you. Life has a way of telling you this is not cool, by happening to you at another time, with someone who is far more important, to you, than me. I can take this, but have a stainless memory…and it will provide me with fuel to understand the potential for growth in a friendship. Or, not. Luckily, I won’t have to ponder next time.
Labels:
cell phone etiquette,
common courtesy,
karma
16 July, 2009
A Royal Buddhist Monastery Make-Over
Wat Bowon Nivet Vihara buildings are being redone and are nearly finished. I can’t write better than this site on all the history of the buildings. So I’ll just accent it with some photos. A little bit more of historic Bangkok is saved!

Open the Doorway of Impermanence
Reflecting on our own impermanence helps us stop following the dissatisfied mind of desire whose impulses are seen as without meaning in the face of death. When we don’t face impermanence and death, our lives become busy, complicated, and stressful. When we do face them, our lives become simpler and more full of meaning. Our fear of, or aversion to facing these subjects is a trick that the mind plays on itself, which keeps us caught in the trap of self-centered, compulsive, neurotic egotism. The illusion that we exist as solid, permanent entities is in fact a trap or prison for our hearts; facing the truth about impermanence is the doorway out.
–Lorne Ladner, from The Lost Art of Compassion
Labels:
Bangkok,
historical buildings,
Wat Bowon
Love Means....

This is more than done, so I thought I would write about this, in the hopes it will help others. Even after 8 years there are still some things we can butt heads on. Yes, love between my partner and I is firmly entrenched... but, of course, we still get wake up calls when things get a little spooky. Moods play a huge role, and with one mood from either one us we can set the world afire. One day, meeting after his school he was a bit moody and was curt with me, and I decided to take offense at it, by calling him on it. It was the wrong move, because he likes to indulge in his moods, letting them run their course until he tires of it. It has nothing to do with me or us. I have to really give up on the idea of him understanding that his moods can affect us, because it goes both ways. I know he is stubborn beyond my limits, so I just joke with him and tell him “Love means never having to say you’re ugly.” I should know by now that with his master’s and work he is just over it, and it is hard to turn off that drive when through. I applaud him for going this far. FWUMP! upside da head. Changing the world, does not apply to boyfriends. Soon enough it becomes a joke between us, if ... I just let go.

Labels:
Life,
love,
partner,
The Abominable Dr. Phibes
14 July, 2009
Aligning Your Mind
I like these iron ware storefronts, as you can never fake this display. It reminds me of when I was a kid and going into my father’s garage full of iron, copper and brass rods, along with the smell. He had these pieces cut for wielding for making his sculptures. That combined with apprenticing with a blacksmith when young and dumb, until I got sick of the horse hooves smell when you trim them. Later, delivering parts to body shops while I was going to school, the wielding smell is burnt into my memory. So every time I encounter it, like someone’s cologne, it brings back floods of memories.
Distinct and also foggy until you decide which you like to align with, at that particular moment. Now, for the owner of this shop the memories contained are totally different, yet he sees the same thing I do. That is where perception comes into play. Our perceiving eye can spin two totally different meanings to anything we see depending on how we feel. That is why to one person a rainy day is depressing and to another a day to reflect and settle down. I am trying to examine my moods before I attach them to any one particular event: seeing, smelling, tasting, feeling as a method to bring more mindfulness into my life.
Labels:
aligning your mind,
iron,
Mindfulness,
perceiving
12 July, 2009
An Artist's Job ...is to See
It made me recall what my house cleaner said when she heard me listening to Pali chants to practice. When she heard the precepts, she said when they get to the one about killing and the one about adultery, "I just remain silent."
Bangkok's rich(the kids in masks looking) and poor(begging at a bustop) beautifully composed by Therakiat Wangwatcharakul, but mysteriously hung hidden by a pillar. Hence the bad photo, sorry.
The erotic lazer cut stories of bonding told by Wu Jian'an. Once dreamed of, they can never leave the deep recesses of one's mind. Desires, that are sure to disappoint, that are better left in our imagination. I am assuming that why they lost their heads in this hell.
Bangkok: In One Half Hour
A fellow blogger posts a nice Ode to Chao Phraya here. Hats off to him. I put up a rainbow shot on the river here.
Labels:
Bangkok,
Chao Phraya
10 July, 2009
A Chinatown Stroll
I would venture to say I spend 80% of my time alone, not in some “woe is me, pathetic way,” but as a confident, curious and somewhat reflective state. I can go for hours looking for good light for a photograph, and this day I ran into a guy twice who was doing the same with a old Rolli camera, and the second time he waited for me to shoot and get out of the way for his shot. We shared a common goal, and yet we never spoke. I ran into two other people that day doing different things alone, one was a writer where I stopped for a drink, and a smoker…smoking his way into non-being. Or at least trying to. The woman with her child was more than happy to let me photograph the two of them, after her small son took a photo of me with her camera phone. That was cute and funny, making for a short bond of humanity between us.
I run into people who quickly figure out I no longer the tourist, as foreign as I am and try to bridge the gap. I am friendly and try to talk to people, not shy. I sometimes offer help to other tourists when asked or when it obvious that they are lost. We are lost in one way or another. Can we take being lost as an asset to spend carefully? Where everything we encounter is new, and should be savored. It can be a temporary way to get out of our body, separating our mind. Sometimes our feelings can not be described. So much life we really don’t know what is next, and we sometimes hold tightly to what we do have, presently. The familiar. We do this in an effort to stop change or fear of the unknown. This is the clinging delusion that Buddha spoke of. Meditation will help bring some positive wisdom to your unease.
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