23 June, 2007

Driving...watch out


Drove home at sunset and watched the colors unfold over the Forty-five minute drive. It was dimensional with high wispy light golden clouds above, long horizontal light purple clouds in the middle, and deep orange clouds that hid the remnants of the sun. I thought about how I have changed, but mostly how people’s perception of me changed. Now, I am talking mostly about new people I meet, not old friends. Few people go as far to find out who I am now, and who I have been in the past to get a full-rounded version. They get either a fixed idea as a disabled person, sometimes pathetic or sometimes compassionate. With my speech disability, I came to the idea that if a person’s heart was good and their own issues were on the back burner then we could quickly become friends or at least acquainted. Some people use my speech or lack of it as a jumping off point, to use me as a sounding board. So, I realized that I have to become more patient, just for my own sake. Along with this is the old adage, “Why am I here?” Now there was no quick way to figure this all out, I spent many a day crying, getting angry, sleeping(with any brain injury) and occasionally laughing. The laughter at myself helped to give me a clue as to how I should approach life. I had to set goals everyday, sometimes way beyond I could possibly go.

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